Annoyingly Persistent
by xmaraudergirlsx
Summary: “What do you say…you and me at Hogsmeade next weekend?” The nerve. Why couldn’t he just ask me politely? “I suppose we’ll both be there,” I said, playing dumb. He looked surprised again and said embarrasedly, “Well no, I mean together”. L/J new summary
1. The First Time

_**Disclaimer: If I was J.K Rowling, I would be creating fantastic characters of my own and not asking for reviews. Therefore, only the plot belongs to me and the characters are just being borrowed to have a little fun with :) **_

**Annoyingly Persistent**

_A series of short incidents between James Potter and Lily Evans told from her Point of View.  
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The First Time

It was strange when Potter started gaining interest in me. We'd been sort of friendly, both of us being in Gryffindor and Fifth Year but I'd never really been interested in him and he hadn't particularly sparked up more than a polite conversation with me before. I had a huge crush on Benjy Fenwick in Sixth Year but nothing had really happened between us- Oh how, I wish! Sev was always telling me how much he hated Potter but I chose not to participate in his incessant bitching. I was supportive and I wasn't pleased when Potter and Black picked on him but it was what boys did. Gryffindor boys always hated Slytherin boys and vice versa. Who was I to mess with the grand scheme of things? There are plenty of Slytherins who I despise, but Sev is my best friend. I've known Sev almost my whole life, how could be possibly be harmful?

I love Charms. I really do, it's quite possibly the easiest subject to get by in. Not to mention it's really fun! Today we're doing the Colour Changing Charm. I know I'll do fine, I got a letter from the Ministry for turning Tunie's hair blonde. Personally, I don't know why she was so upset…blonde suits her so much more than that mousy brown she has. I'm really looking forward to Halloween, it's in just over a week! The Feast is one of my favourite events at Hogwarts. I can't wait to have some of those peppermint eyeballs! I licked my lips, thinking about this as Professor Flitwick addressed me.

"Miss Evans, snap out of those day dreams and perform the Colour Charm on Mr.Black's robes if you please," he said politely. I enjoy Flitwick. He's quite adorable perched on his stack of books.

"Yes Professor" I replied standing and walking to the front. Of course Black had offered to be the guinea pig. The boy loves attention, and people are completely content on giving it to him. I smiled at him and he smirked lazily back. I fought to roll my eyes. He's as conceited as Potter. Waving my wand, I spoke the incantation and his robes turned a vibrant, hot pink. The class laughed as I turned my wand over in my hands. I grinned and he looked amused.

"Nice one Evans" he muttered as he looked down at my choice of colour.

"Thought it suited you a bit better," I replied making the class chortle and Flitwick beam.

"Well done! Take five points for Gryffindor!" he announced clapping his tiny hands. I curtsied playfully and went back to my seat where Dorcas was beaming at me. It was then when I felt eyes on the back of my head. Feeling uncomfortable I looked over my shoulder seeing Potter watching me with sparkling hazel eyes. He ruffled his mop of raven hair and smirked at me. I smiled politely back and turned back to talk to Dorcas.

I was chatting away about something or the other when James approached me that night in the common room. He had an air of arrogance as he plopped down on the couch opposite me. I smiled vaguely and continued talking to Marlene.

"Evans" he said interrupting my conversation.

Irritated, I turned to him with an expectant look. "Yes Potter?"

"I like what you did in Charms today, that took guts" he said, leaning back against the chair. I think I heard Mary gasp. He is rather good-looking, but I was annoyed he'd interrupted a perfectly interesting conversation to say something so pointless. And what was this about guts?

"Guts?" I asked, eyebrow raised.

He looked surprised that I wasn't thrilled that he was talking to me.

"Yeah, well not many people often make a Marauder look silly and get away with it" he explained, leaning forward giving me a charming smile. I didn't really think it was all that charming though, in fact I was downright pissed off.

"That's a bit conceited isn't it?" I replied. It's not as if they're Merlin's gift to Hogwarts!

"I suppose so, but anyway what do you say…you and me at Hogsmeade next weekend?"

The nerve. Why couldn't he just ask me politely?

"I suppose we'll both be there," I said, playing dumb.

He looked surprised again and said, "Well no, I mean together". I was pleased to see he had started to look nervous.

"No, I'd rather not, thank you" I replied nonchalantly. Arrogant, bullying boys are certainly not my type.

His mouth dropped open and he looked like a goldfish. I chuckled and said,

"You really ought to close your mouth Potter, unless you're looking to catch flies" I commented.

He looked stunned, like he wasn't able to speak. So instead he just got up, ruffled that silly mass of hair in puzzlement and walked back to his waiting friends.

I laughed loudly and the girls joined in.

I suppose rejecting him was the worst idea I've ever had because it was from this day on that Potter absolutely refused to leave me alone. Bugger.

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_**A/N: Review please!**_


	2. On the Way to the Library

_**A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed!! I hope you enjoy this as much as I am. :)**_

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On the Way to the Library

It's not as if he asked me out every day. Or even really every week, but anytime he felt the mood strike him, Potter decided to annoy me. I was very steadily beginning to despise him as much as Sev did. It wasn't until mid-November that he tried again.

I was walking along the corridor, minding my own business. I needed to go to the library to look up Gargoyles for my Defence Against the Dark Arts essay. I was dreading going in there because last time Marlene and I had been imitating the Marauders who had been particularly annoying in Muggle Studies the other day. The Professor had given them a rather stinging detention for charming a Microwave to turn live animals into well-prepared meals. I'd found it amusing at first but after a while they'd just started showing off because a group of giggling Hufflepuff girls had been encouraging them. Anyway, while Marlene and I were acting out the little scenario for Dorcas, Madame Pince had rushed over and given us quite the talking to. I honestly think the woman is insane. We were clearly just taking a break from studying so hard. She ruins all of our fun.

As I thought up ways to sneak past her when I walked in, I heard voices in the corridor. Oh bollocks, where was Dorcas when I needed her? She's a prefect, she'll be able to sort this out. I turned the corner and saw a second year boy hopping up and down on one foot and the little girl on all fours, mooing like a cow. I noticed that of course, the Marauders were behind it. Pettigrew was clutching his sides, red with laughter while Black leaned against a wall smirking. James Potter, the ring leader had his wand out and was also laughing as the poor little girl mooed embarrassedly up at them. Remus Lupin, was of course conveniently not there. How that boy became a prefect I'll never know. Especially when he's friends with the scum of the earth.

"What's going on here?" I asked loudly, narrowing my eyes at them.

Potter lowered his wand and his voice became a little deeper. "Oh hello Evans" he said pleasantly. I glared at him and looked expectantly at the blushing second years. I noticed that Black was scowling at me, clearly because I'd ruined their fun.

"What are you doing?" I repeated, scowling back at Black.

"Oh just playing a game with the second years" Potter said nonchalantly.

Black barked with laughter. "Yeah it's called, _"do what we tell you, or we'll make you"_…looks like fun doesn't it?"

"Charming" I said dryly. I then waved my wand and the effect of the incantations stopped. The girl got to her feet and the boy looked at the floor. "Go on, get out of here," I said kindly to them. They scurried off and I saw Pettigrew looking worried, Black, annoyed and Potter smiling in an amused way.

"Shame you lot have nothing better to do than pick on kids younger than you" I said, hands on my hips.

"Well, we could find Snivellus I suppose" Black said with his dazzling smile. In ordinary circumstances, most girls would've probably melted in to a pool of frogspawn, but not me.

"His name is Severus. Snape, if you must" I snapped.

"Nah, I rather think Snivellus suits him better," Black said, not breaking eye contact. Irritated, I exhaled and my hair flew off my eyes.

"You have no class," I said to Potter who was still smirking. Couldn't he wipe that ridiculous smirk off his face for five minutes? He ran a hand through his already messy hair and it stuck up in odd directions, just like it did after one of his Quidditch matches.

"Oh Evans" he drawled, glancing at Black who's grey eyes sparkled with amusement. "I have plenty of class…there's Transfiguration and Charms and Herbology…"

"Oh shut up," I hissed in frustration before starting to walk past them to get to the library.

"Going to study Evans?" he called.

"Yes" I said without turning around.

"Study Date?" he asked with an air of hopefulness. The boy could not get a hint.

"No" I replied curtly and quickened my pace.

Just as I entered the library I heard Black say,

"She's a tough cookie that one, Prongs".

What a completely awful and ridiculous nickname.

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_**A/N: Reviews please!!**_


	3. Charmed Mistletoe

_**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!!**_

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Charmed Mistletoe

I was happy Potter hadn't bothered asking me out again. It was almost Christmas break, and I could finally go home and take my mind off OWLs for a few days. I was excited to see my parents and even Petunia. It'd be nice to hang out in the park with Sev again. We only ever get to spend a lot of time together during breaks since at school we're in different houses. I had told him about my last big run in with Potter and he'd sneered. We talked about what an arrogant, conceited fool that boy was. Always strutting around the castle without a care in the world. I think Sev thinks I fancy Potter, he's always asking if I hate him. I tell him no, because hate is a strong word but I do dislike him immensely. Sev always looks suspicious but I'm not sure why. It's not as if I'm hiding anything from him. I always tell him the truth. It's me who should be suspicious anyway. He's always hanging around those gits, Mulciber and Avery. They're worse than the Marauders if possible. They put dark spells on people. It really scares me that Sev is involved with them. I know he knows a lot of dark magic, but I always thought he was one of the Slytherins that wasn't intrigued by that side. I have mentioned it to him a few times but he usually waves off the subject. No use pushing him. He's as stubborn as I am!

"I think a little wolfsbane should do it," I said to Sev in Potions. It was our last Potions lesson before the break and Professor Slughorn had us making the Draught of Peace.

"Three shakes and then stir it counter-clockwise three times," he said, busying himself with finding the wolfsbane in our giant pile of ingredients. I looked back at the textbook.

"It says two shakes and five stirs clockwise in the book though," I said.

"Well that'll take longer won't it Lily?" he said with a slight smile. I laughed.

"Hey, I just thought we ought to do it right for once!" I said, putting my hands up in mock defensiveness.

"We do it right all the time! We just do it better," he said proudly.

"Well, I trust you Sev" I said patting him on the shoulder. I ignored the blush that had crept to his sallow, white skin and went to the front to collect a vial from Professor Slughorn. Just my luck, he was talking to Potter. Not surprisingly, Potter wasn't paying attention to a thing Slughorn was saying and instead was watching me with serious eyes. I ignored him and went to the desk to pick out a medium sized vial to put a sample of our potion in.

"Oh ho! Look here, Lily have you finished already?" Slughorn said beaming at me over his fat mustache. I smiled, resigned to chatting with him for a few moments. He'd never let me get away with just going back to my desk.

"Yes Professor, Severus and I just have a couple more instructions to follow," I said with a smile. Potter had of course fallen silent.

"Well, well, I really ought to separate you two…my two best Potion-makers really should be helping some of the others. Mr Potter here has been having trouble with step six."

I turned to Potter who looked mildly embarrassed as he looked over to where Sirius Black was now using their steaming cauldron as a foot rest while he lounged in his chair looking bored.

"Perhaps I should pair you and James up for the next assignment…" Slughorn said thoughtfully as Potter looked thrilled.

"That's a brilliant idea Professor!" he exclaimed, shooting Black a look. Black on the other hand looked far less enthused. I almost smiled at the idea of Sev and Black trying to work together if he and Potter were split up.

"I don't know if that's a great idea Sir" I said, my face solemn.

"Why not?" The Professor looked at me, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Well Sir, detaching Black and Potter from the hip could cause them serious mental damage. We'd have to deal with them moping all day and yearning for each other" I said, a tiny smirk falling on to my lips.

The listening members of the class erupted into laughter and looked at Black and Potter. Potter was a very faint shade of pink, something I've never seen on him before, while Black just looked amused. His pale grey eyes met mine and he shook his head sarcastically.

Professor Slughorn let out a booming laugh and patted me on the shoulder. "Well, we can't have that can we Lily?" he said shaking his head, still chuckling.

"No, we can't Sir" I replied with a grin before taking my vial and walking back to a still laughing Sev without a second look at Potter. Of course, I felt the usual intense gaze on my back, but didn't quite care enough to acknowledge it.

I left Sev downstairs in the dungeons and made my way up to the Gryffindor common room to meet up with Marlene and Dorcas. Apparently Benjy Fenwick had talked to Marlene about me and I was quite excited to hear the whole story.

"Evans" came the cheeky voice I've become so accustomed to hearing my name in.

Tiredly, I turned to Potter who for once was without his cronies.

"Potter?" I said stiffly. He'd walked a lot closer to me than I was prepared for.

"Guess what?" he said when there was only a few inches between us.

"Enlighten me" I replied boredly, leaning back a bit, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Mistletoe" he said looking up at the ceiling. Shocked, my head shot up and there it was. He wasn't lying. I wondered how the horrible shrubbery had been so conveniently placed for him.

"Bugger" I said loudly making him laugh happily and reach for my shoulders. I of course tried to back away out of his reach, but my feet stayed planted.

"Bollocks!" I said squirming the best I could away from his arms. He grinned at me happily.

"Charmed Mistletoe" he explained with a smirk. "Can't move until to lay a wet one on this beautiful face," he said gesturing to his and pouting. Just perfect, my first kiss and it was going to be James bleeding Potter. It's alright, I just won't count it…

I scoffed and looked away in irritation. "Stupid magic mistletoe" I muttered before quickly getting on my tiptoes and pecking him very, very quickly on the mouth. After this, my feet could of course move and I saw that his eyes were closed a second or two longer than me. Ignoring the enormous grin that slipped on to his handsome face, I rolled my eyes, spun on my heel and walked away.

Poor Potter, I hadn't felt a thing.

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_**A/N: Review, was it good? awful? **_


	4. The Apology

The Apology

Silly me. Did I really think I'd get away from Potter's antics when I was away on Christmas Break?

Marlene and Dorcas are staying over for a couple of days so I haven't really spent any time with Sev lately. They don't like him much and he feels the same way. I suppose I understand, but it's frustrating when no one gets why I'm friends with him.

It was about midnight when the Owl came. I was sitting on my bed surrounded my Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, a lot of wrappers and some muggle chocolate too. Marlene has been absolutely fascinated by everything in my house. She's never been to visit before and so this is the first Muggle House she's ever been in. You should see her when the Microwave goes, she looks afraid for her life. Dorcas has a Muggle-born dad, so she's a little less surprised by some things. We thoroughly enjoy messing with Marlene's head, although she does love Muggle chocolate. I must ask mum to send us some when we go back to school.

"Who's that from Lily?" Marlene asked as she took a bite out of the Milky Way she had in her hand.

"Haven't a clue" I replied honestly, putting out some water for the owl to drink. It did, thirstily before perching on my bed post looking at me with its large, yellow and strangely amused eyes. As I stared at it in confusion, I noticed Dorcas laughing hysterically.

"What's the joke?" I asked.

She calmed herself down but hiccoughed a little before saying, "You do know whose owl that is don't you?"

My eyes widened as something clicked. "No, no…no!! You must be joking!" I said slapping my forehead and looking at the handsome tawny owl.

"Wait, whose is it?" Marlene asked, looking between Dorcas and I.

I shook my head, unable to answer, turning the heavy envelope over in my hands as I looked contemptuously at the owl. It merely blinked back. Even his bloody pet is annoying.

"James Potter's," Dorcas supplied, with a wide grin. Marlene clapped her hands together in delight.

"Oooh that's perfect!" she said, giggling.

I glared at her. "No, it most certainly is not! Can't he even leave me alone when I'm at home!?"

"Apparently not…" Dorcas said wisely before nodding at the envelope. "Go on, open it."

"Bloody hell," I said, sighing and breaking the seal, which had an image of a stag imprinted into the wax.

"Out loud!!" Marlene encouraged.

I sighed deeply and inhaled before reading embarrassedly out loud.

_"My dearest Evans,_

_How are you? I assume you're fit as ever because how could you really change over the span of a few weeks? Do tell me if anything has changed…I miss looking at your face dearly. My Christmas has been spectacular. Got loads of presents!! Sirius, Remus and Peter have been here since New Year's but Remus and Peter are leaving tomorrow. You're probably with McKinnon and Meadowes, so give them a smile for me. Anyhow, here is my Christmas present to you. I suppose it's fairly late…it took me a while to decide what to get. I'm sure you'll love it: I'm just perceptive like that. I don't expect a present back of course. Your lips on mine those few weeks ago was enough for many Christmases to come. Although, I can't say I would say no to a date at Hogsmeade!_

_Thinking ever so persistently about you and your gorgeous bum,_

_James Potter."_

"The git!" I said crumpling the parchment a little in my hands. Marlene and Dorcas were trying to look disapproving but failing miserably as they covered their smiles.

Looking in the envelope I saw a tiny feather, which I pulled out. It immediately grew to full size and a bow was wrapped around it. It was a new quill. A very expensive new quill. I ran my fingers over the nib and realized it was probably ivory, while the feathers looked to be from an Arctic Snowy Owl.

"Blimey, that's a nice gift!" Dorcas said, impressed.

"He wasn't joking. You do love it don't you!?" Marlene asked, accusingly.

My eyes shot up to look at them and I growled.

"It's beautiful but it's from Potter. If I use it, it'll inflate his big head to the size of England!" I practically screeched in annoyance. The girls exchanged a look and laughed at me as I pulled out a box and shoved the quill in a place where I fully intended never to look again. I then made a big show of shoving it to the bottom of my trunk unceremoniously.

"What are you waiting for?!" I asked the waiting owl. It just hooted at me, happily.

"Probably on instructions to wait for a reply" Dorcas said stifling her laughter.

"Well it's not getting one!" I snapped, opening the window and shooing the owl out. It looked rather irritated at me as it fluttered outside my window, which I had closed rather abruptly. It watched me for a moment as it hovered, before suddenly hooting loudly and taking off into the distance.

Back to that wretched Potter.

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_**A/N: Don't you like it? Have I failed miserably!! Help!**_


	5. No Control

_**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, tell your friends, tell your reviewers!! Only kidding, you dont have to...I'm not even quite sure how much everyone likes it yet. Either way though, thanks for reading :)**_

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No Control

It felt good to be back after the Christmas holidays. Once Marlene and Dorcas had left, I'd spent one day with Sev before his mum took him to Bristol to visit his aunty. That meant I was left to the boredom of reading books I'd read twice already, making snow angels in the garden and listening to Tuney talk about some boy she fancied called Vernon. It was a nice change from her calling me a freak, but still I was desperate to go back. I'd finished all my homework weeks in advance, so there was only time keeping me away from the Wizarding world.

"Sev!" I called, running past the people coming out of carriages and flinging myself into his arms. I hugged him tightly and he patted my back in the affectionate, awkward way I've gotten so used to. When we separated, I was beaming and he looked rather happy and red. I glanced at Mulciber who was standing next to him eyeing me with distaste. I really hated that boy but I wasn't going to let him ruin my mood.

"How was your aunty's?"

"Boring. All she did was try and feed me," Sev said with a cautious glance at Mulciber.

"You do look like you've put on a few," I joked eyeing his frail body. That boy would never be fat, we both knew it. He smiled vaguely at my joke as he saw Avery approach. Again, I received the same look of distaste.

"Well Lily, I'll see you later," he muttered to my surprise.

"Oh, alright," I tried to say cheerfully.

"Bye," he said, turning to follow his friends. I watched as Avery nodded at him and saw there was the bare minimum of acknowledgment between them. It didn't seem right for people who were supposed to be friends. Oh how I wish he'd hang about with different people! I cringed slightly when I heard that awful word come from Mulciber's mouth when he turned back and looked at me. It also annoyed me that Sev didn't say a thing in my defense.

I was biting my lip in thought as I felt four arms wrap around me. I smiled into Marlene's shoulder and forgot my anger as I hugged Dorcas and her tightly back. Within a few moments, we were chattering excitedly about the remainder of our holidays and walking toward the castle. Suddenly I saw a flash of two heads of raven hair running toward one short, stout boy and one taller, skinny boy with sandy, brown hair sprinkled with grey.

Potter and Black jumped on Lupin and Pettigrew in delight and the four boys wrestled dramatically for a few seconds before slapping high fives and talking animatedly to each other. I thought for a moment about how excited they were to be back together even though it couldn't have been more than a week since they saw each other last. A small smile crept on to my face. I couldn't stop it. As annoying as the Marauders can be, I doubt anyone could not think their friendship was cute. They were absolutely inseparable.

My smile came to an abrupt halt when I saw Black point at me and nudge Potter. Potter grinned in a devilish sort of way and strolled toward me.

"Oh no, hide me," I said trying to duck behind my giggling friends.

"Evans!!" he called happily with his arms outstretched.

"If you think I'm hugging you Potter, I'm obligated to ask if you've gone completely insane".

The familiar look of slight disappointment graced his face for a few seconds before it swooped quickly back to his smirk.

"You've changed your hair," he said conversationally, falling into step with us. I sighed and put a hand to the base of my neck where my hair was now hanging instead of long past my shoulders.

"Yeah, it's a bit shorter than I would've liked" I said self consciously.

"I think you look fit!" he exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes. The boy never ever had a genuine compliment.

"I think you're rude!" I retorted. It made him stop in his tracks and even though I continued walking, I glanced behind me to see Lupin patting his shoulder and Black and Pettigrew staring after me. I laughed to myself.

After quickly unpacking our trunks, the girls and I trooped downstairs for dinner. I could hear the hustle and bustle of the Great Hall all the way down the corridor and felt a surge of excitement to be back. The feeling in my stomach instantly changed when I saw Sev, with his feet in an unstoppable quickstep dance. I ran quickly forward and saw the same boys I expected to see. They were laughing raucously and I was furious to see Lupin, the so-called Prefect just standing there with a slight smile on his face, looking cautiously around. Probably for teachers.

"Stop it!" I yelled and Potter turned to me wearily. I was surprised to see that it wasn't him doing the charm and instead it was Black who looked thrilled as he lazily flicked his wand, making Sev's feet move faster and slower to his will.

"Stop!!" I yelled insistently as Sev looked on helplessly.

Potter looked weary and said something to Black who just smirked. I saw the smile play at Potter's lips before he finally ended the spell himself. Severus glared at them angrily before raising his wand.

"No!" I yelled to him, unable to control myself. I didn't want him to get in any trouble. Especially when there was four of them and one of him.

Sev glared at me furiously but I looked back pleadingly. He nodded and then said some cruel swear words to the Marauders, which I chose not to listen to. He then stalked into the Great Hall leaving the boys laughing at him.

"He really should work on his insults don't you think Evans?" Black said in a light tone.

"It's hard when you're that uncool though," Potter said with mock sympathy. Pettigrew laughed loudly and Black smirked happily. I heard Marlene catch her breath. I always knew she had a crush on him. Ignoring them, I glared. My blood was boiling, I didn't even know what to say. Luckily Dorcas, the prefect took over.

"Why were you doing this?" she asked calmly, looking at Potter.

"He was being rude," Potter explained.

"That's no excuse to pick on him. Why weren't you just rude back?" she said.

"That's not nearly as fun," Potter said with a knowing smirk making Sirius bark with laughter.

Dorcas watched them carefully and then sighed before saying, "Ten points from Gryffindor, each. Thanks a lot lads!" she said, shaking her head. Sirius rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets, impatiently. It was as if he'd instantly lost interest in this conversation.

"Bloody prefects," Potter said under his breath turning to leave. Black and Pettigrew followed while Lupin stayed back, looking guilty.

"Remus, you really ought to control that behaviour!" Dorcas said earnestly.

He reddened and nodded. "I know, I'm sorry".

"I won't tell Professor McGonagall, but will you please tell them not to do it anymore!?" Dorcas pressed on.

He nodded. "I'll try, but it's hard to tell them what to do".

Dorcas and Marlene nodded but I exhaled angrily.

"Well start trying harder! You can't let them get away with that sort of thing. You're a Prefect!"

Remus looked crestfallen. "I'm sorry Lily," he said before nodding at us and going after his friends.

That's why I've always liked Remus the best. He might find it hard to control them, but at least he's tolerable.

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_**A/N: Reviewwwww pleasey!!**__**  
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	6. Desperately Hungry

A/N: Thanks all for your kind reviews, Enjoy

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Desperately Hungry

I'm desperately hungry. Stupidly, I missed dinner because Sev wanted to meet up. I wanted to, because I hadn't seen him since we got back three weeks ago, but I was now severely regretting skipping meals. I sat in the deserted common room, bundled in a blanket. I was exhausted but the pangs of hunger jolting in my stomach were keeping me awake. I was reading a book, trying in vain to be sleepy enough to forget my hunger and just go to bed when I heard someone enter the common room. It was the Marauders, more than likely back from one of their silly adventures or back from planning some prank. I eyed them over my book and Remus smiled at me sheepishly.

"Hi Lily" he said weakly. The boy looked more tired than I felt and his face was sprouting a haggard looking beard.

"Hello Remus" I said, choosing not to mention the fact that they'd been out after curfew. I really wonder how they get away with it. Surely at some point a prefect might see them!

Black and Pettigrew collapsed into the chairs surrounding me and dumped a large cloth on to the table. Pettigrew then undid the knot and my eyes widened at the sight. There were sandwiches, chocolate, cake, fruit and even a container of chicken legs. I watched jealously as Pettigrew dug in and only paused to toss an impatient Black a chicken leg. The recklessly handsome boy chewed it thoughtfully and watched me with his playful grey eyes. I fought to not lick my lips as I saw Remus take a gigantic bit out of a bar of my favourite Honeyduke's chocolate. I bit my lip instead, curious about where they got the food but not quite ready to ask.

Suddenly, I felt the weight of someone join me on the sofa I was curled up on. It was Potter with a pot of tea and mugs. He placed it on the table and smirked at me in my pajamas. Choosing, wisely not to make a remark about my rather revealing top, he said,

"Still up Lily Flower?" while looking at my chest.

"Don't call me that," I said hugging the blanket tighter around me. How I loathed this boy.

"Alright, why are you still up Evans?"

"Can't sleep," I muttered, watching as Peter licked the cream out of an éclair as if in slow motion. I found I couldn't move my eyes.

"Tea?" Potter offered politely. It was the first time I'd heard him use this tone of voice. I suppose it's because there isn't anyone else around.

Black let out a bark-like laugh. "She's been eyeing our spread ever since we came in, I'm pretty sure she'd prefer a sandwich."

My eyes darted to the selection of sandwiches Potter was now deciding between.

"Sandwich Evans?" He asked gesturing to the pile.

"Chicken leg perhaps?" Black asked sarcastically. I glared at him and then spoke to Potter curtly.

"I'm quite alright, thank you". I wasn't about to take anything he was offering me. I saw him study my defiant expression for a moment before grinning to himself. Within a few moments of heavy silence, Remus spoke up.

"Help yourself Lily, please…I insist".

Thank goodness. Thank god he asked. The only way I would stoop to eating Marauder stolen food was if Remus was the one to offer. I didn't care even if it was obvious Potter had made him do it.

"Well…if you insist," I said grinning at him. He laughed and I dug in. Oh everything tasted wonderful. "Where did you get this?" I asked Remus. His mouth was full so Black spoke up instead. He was lounging casually in his chair, looking haughty but desperately gorgeous.

"Kitchens. We have a bit of a pull".

"Yeah, the elves love us!" Potter boasted.

"Yeah, I doubt it has nothing to do with the fact that they love to serve" I replied sarcastically polishing off my second sandwich.

"You sure can eat Evans!" Pettigrew said impressed. I blushed lightly and Potter and Black burst out laughing. Even Remus smiled.

Suddenly feeling full and a little annoyed, I stood up brushing away some crumbs.

"Thanks for sharing Remus but I really should get to bed" I said politely and he smiled at me.

"What no bye for us Evans?" Black said with a mock pout as I started toward the staircase

"Bye" I replied dully.

"Oh Evans!?" Potter was using that horrible arrogant voice again. I sighed dramatically and looked at him, hands on hips and eyebrow raised.

"As long as all that food goes straight to your bum, I won't mind at all" he said with a flirtatious grin.

My eyes narrowed and I spoke sharply, "You are the most insufferable, infuriating imbecile I have ever had the displeasure of meeting Potter".

He looked so thrilled, one would've thought I'd just declared my undying adoration of him.

"And you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever been excited by" he retorted with a suggestive wink and look down at his trousers.

I felt my cheeks redden at the implication before I let out an annoyed noise and ran up the staircase.

"Dream of me Evans! I know what we'll be doing in mine…." He called after me.

Oh how I despise the boy.

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_**A/N: Reviewwww pleasey-weasyyy?**_


	7. Public Mortification

Public Mortification

I muttered to myself, trying to recite the information I had just learnt in Transfiguration. Sighing in frustration I took a huge bite of my pasta. It was no use, the class had just gotten way too difficult. As I chewed, my eyes flicked around the tables at my fellow Fifth Years. They all seemed to be in deep thought, obviously thinking like I was, how they'd ever be ready for OWLS. Suddenly there was a sound of catcalling and boisterous laughter. My eyes rested on the Marauders who were spluttering in over the top laughter. Black was laughing quietly, with a self satisfied, attractive smirk as his eyes stared with intensity over at the Ravenclaw table. Pettigrew was also looking over at the table with a kind of delighted glee as his eyes flicked between Black and whoever they were looking at. Remus had his textbook in front of him, but he too was smiling with amusement. Potter was laughing the hardest, covering his face and running his hands through his windswept hair. Why weren't they freaking out like the rest of us normal people? They all seemed completely relaxed and not at all worried that they might ruin their futures by not studying every chance they got. My eyes followed their looks and I saw that they were looking in the direction of a group of giggling Ravenclaw girls. Emmeline Vance, who I truly like because she's the only one who can sustain an intelligent conversation about Muggle literature with me was glowing red and glancing at Black with a kind of pride.

"Ugh" I sighed out loud.

"What?" Dorcas said looking up from her textbook. Marlene did the same, her mouth full of soup.

"I suppose Black has finally found himself a girl willing to go out with him," I said scornfully. I knew immediately my words would be challenged.

"Now, don't get me wrong Lily, I dislike Black just as much as you do…but you know as well as I do that he doesn't date much out of his own accord. There are plenty of girls throwing themselves at him all the time."

I grunted in admittance. It's true. Girls flock to him like he's some famous singer or something, but he never seems to notice, or really care.

"Who's he going out with?" Marlene asked with forced nonchalance. I can't believe she likes him. He's such a git.

"From the looks of it, Emmeline Vance," I commented, nodding my head in her direction.

"We would've heard about it, if it were true…maybe she just likes him," Dorcas said reasonably, trying to make Marlene feel better.

"Ugh, he's so bloody fit," Marlene said in annoyance, spooning more soup in her mouth.

I rolled my eyes. "He's also an insufferable git".

The girls nodded, even if just to humour me and I started to eat my pudding. I missed my mouth completely and hit my cheek when I heard my name being called loud and obnoxiously. Wiping the chocolate pudding off my cheek in disgust, I glared at the offender.

"Evans!" Potter said again. He was standing up, his hair impossibly tousled and his shirt untucked. His eyes were shining and I groaned in response, silently banging my head on the table. The people around us laughed, but he didn't seem to notice. Of course, he was too busy talking.

"So Evans…Valentine's Day next week," he said with his horrible grin.

I silently acknowledged it and tried to speak to him using my eyes. They said, "Leave me Alone, you prick".

Apparently he's not a mind-reader because he continued anyway. Much to my annoyance, he also had the attention of everyone in the vicinity. I noticed that the Professors were the only ones politely continuing their conversation, pretending not to notice.

"So, I was thinking…."

"Oh no, did you hurt yourself?" I asked sarcastically. People laughed and my lips curled into a small smile.

"Now, now Evans…play nice," he said, still grinning stupidly. "So I was thinking…since Sirius is taking Emmeline Vance on the Valentine's Hogsmeade trip…" he paused as if for dramatic effect and the hall flooded with whispers, casting a pleasurably flushed, Emmeline, jealous or curious looks. My eyes fell on Black who didn't seem to mind in the least that Potter had just announced his private affairs to the whole school. Potter cleared his throat and immediately had everyone's undivided attention again,

"I thought I'd do you the honour of accompanying you as your date," he said, puffing his chest out slightly and looking very proud of himself. Marlene and Dorcas made small noises of disbelief. Honestly, could anyone be so ignorantly, obnoxiously, arrogantly horrible? My eyes went to Sev and I could see he was furious. His pale face was flushed and his lip was curled in a scowl. I felt like scowling myself. I felt so completely and entirely mortified.

"Potter, let me give you some advice," I said, in my most patient voice. I would not explode. I refuse to give him that satisfaction.

"When some pathetic, desperate little girl agrees to accompany you on said date, make sure that you tell her just how lucky you are that she agreed to go out with a completely arrogant, insufferable prat like yourself. Then, if you get lucky enough to get along with her after that…don't for a second think that just because you managed to get someone to like you, that I will ever, in my whole life, ever, agree to go out with you," I said and then I went back to my food. There were a few chuckles but mostly the whispering increased. I raised my head ever so slightly and saw Sev smiling at me and I smiled back. I glanced to the side at Potter who was now sinking to his seat, scratching his head in confusion. Black said something to him and he shrugged before laughing and pulling Pettigrew into a playful headlock.

That boy is utterly hopeless.

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_**A/N: Thanks for reviewing, please do so again. Also please do, if you haven't haha :)**_


	8. Valentine's Day

_**A/N: Thanks for your feedback! Enjoy -**_

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Valentine's Day

Of course Potter got a date to the Valentine's Hogsmeade trip. He does every year. Most girsl apparently can't see past looks because he's never had trouble getting someone to like him. Except me. I see him for who he really is. Dorcas and I decided that since Marlene was so depressed that Black was dating Emmeline Vance, we'd all go together and enjoy a girl's night at the Three Broomsticks. I wanted to meet up with Sev at Honeydukes but he didn't even come to Hogsmeade. He told me that he and his friends were just going to stay and study for our round of mock OWLS, which were rapidly approaching. I got the distinct impression that he was hiding something from me but I chose not to dwell on it. I was irritated with his friends because the other day I heard Mulciber had tried putting the Imperius curse on Mary MacDonald. That made me furious, but Sev denies it incessantly.

I sighed in frustration as Potter and Black entered the Three Broomsticks with their dates. I was still angry at Black because it was only last month that he had sent Sev in after Remus who apparently is a full-fledged werewolf. Thank goodness, Potter had the sense to save Sev. I will never admit to Potter that I really admired him for this because he saved an enemy not only because it was the right thing to do but also because one of his best mates would've been sent to Azkaban. I can't believe Black, I honestly don't think the boy cares about anything but a bit of fun. Or else, he just refuses to think anything through! They are quite the pair Potter and Black…I wish I'd never met them sometimes!

They made a huge commotion, introducing their dates to Rosmerta who apparently they get along very well with because she hugged them both tightly and sent them their first round of Butterbeers for free. I clutched my bottle in annoyance as I saw Marlene's face fall. Goodness knows why she's so obsessed with Black, there are plenty of boys who would like to go out with her. Dorcas and I exchanged looks and quickly tried to get her attention away from him. After talking about nothing important for a while, we began to tune out Potter and Black's obnoxious laughter and Emmeline and Kerry Smith's giggling and enjoy ourselves again.

"Ooh look, there's Benjy!" I said quietly as the good looking boy walked in with his best friend, Frank Longbottom. Frank is dating Alice, a girl in our year, so they immediately went to join her and Mary. I watched carefully seeing Mary blush as Benjy spoke to her. "I wonder if he likes Mary MacDonald".

"Oh Lily, he fancies you!! It's only because people are worried that you and James are involved."

I snorted. "Figures, I'd never go out with Potter but he still manages to succeed in warding off any interested boys."

"Oh he's had a few offers, but he usually declines rather politely. James doesn't swing that way".

We looked up seeing a smiling Remus and Peter Pettigrew standing by our table. We laughed at Remus' joke and he smiled. He looked less tired than usual, but I suppose its because it's a new moon and he must be fully recovered by now. I think they've all forgiven Black now. I noticed that they'd been angry at him for almost a week last month.

"Mind if we join you? If we sit with our friends, we're afraid we'll look like another couple," Remus said, nodding at Peter who batted his eyelashes. They both laughed and then looked back to us.

"Sure, have a seat," Dorcas said moving over.

"So, why don't you two have dates?" I asked them conversationally.

"Remus doesn't date and the girl I asked said no," Peter spoke up.

"Oh that's a shame" I said apologetically,but knew why, when Peter slurped noisily at his Butterbeer in response.

"Don't you date Remus?" Dorcas asked.

"Sometimes, but I'm no good at relationships. I always mess up somehow," Remus explained with a smile.

"I can't imagine how you'd mess up more than Black…or Potter" I said, casting a beady eye upon the boys who seemed to have their dates wrapped around their little fingers. It made me sad to think a nice boy like Remus didn't date. I wonder if its because of his condition.

Remus laughed. "I know it may not seem like it but James is usually pretty smooth. So is Sirius if he's actually interested. That's not all that often though."

"Can't bear to think about anyone but himself?" I joked, half serious.

Remus rolled his eyes and chuckled. "They can be gits, but they're our best mates Lily".

"You're so much more mature though," I muttered under my breath, which he ignored.

"How come Sirius is always so uninterested?" Marlene asked.

"Honestly, I don't even know if it's because he's uninterested. I think he just doesn't notice," Peter said with a nod from Remus.

"That's the truth," Marlene whispered bitterly.

"Looks like Emmeline and Kerry are leaving," Dorcas commented gesturing to where the girls were kissing Black and Potter. Emmeline had settled for a kiss on the cheek while Kerry was currently eating Potter's face off. I rolled my eyes at the sight seeing him pull her away firmly, but only after waiting a few minutes. Then the girls left and Potter gave Black a horrified look. Black laughed and waved over to Peter and Remus, not even noticing we were sitting with them.

"Well we'd better go…" Peter said getting up in a hurry.

"Thanks for the company girls," Remus smiled.

"Anytime," I replied as we all got up. We wanted to make a dash to Honeydukes and some other shops before we went back to the castle.

Marlene and Dorcas went outside before me because I was still hunting for my coat among the masses of others hung up.

"Evans."

"Oh Potter, must you always bother me when I'm busy?" I said in irritation as I yanked at a sleeve in the pile.

He watched me in amusement before finally tapping me on the shoulder. I snapped my head around to glare at him when I noticed he was pointing at my coat, which hung on a very visible peg.

"Thanks," I muttered reluctantly, trying to pull it on as quickly as I could.

"Well, I'll remember you owe me," he smirked.

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Whatever you need to tell yourself Potter," before turning to leave. I stopped though because he had a hold on my sleeve. I whirled around, ready to scream at him when I noticed he was holding out a small bunch of the prettiest roses I'd ever seen. I looked at him in confusion and he merely grinned as he pushed them into my hand. I was speechless. He'd never done anything this thoughtful or sweet before.

"Happy Valentine's," he said simply.

"Uh…thanks," I stammered rather uncomfortably.

"Have a drink with me Evans, I know you want to," he said, his arrogant demeanor suddenly returning in a flash.

My eyes narrowed. Oh how he always spoiled everything!

"Actually, I'd rather not. And if you're going to give me flowers, do your research – my favourites are daisies!" I lied coldly, before dropping the beautiful bouquet into the rubbish bin next to me. I didn't want anything from that prat.

"Evans!" he spluttered looking shocked.

I ignored him and practically skipped out of the bar. I was so much happier walking away from him.

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	9. A Different Side of a Marauder

A Different Side of a Marauder

I was pleased that Potter had refrained from bothering me since the dreaded Valentine's Day at Hogsmeade because I have enough on my mind as it is. Not only are OWLS taking over my life, but Sev has been really distant lately. He's always angry at me and is spending every moment with Avery and Mulciber. They make me so furious. I hate seeing him fall like this. He's not the type of person to act so stupidly! I don't know why he's so obsessed with the power they give him. I suppose it's because they protect him from people like Potter and Black but that's annoying as it is. If he just stood up for himself once in a while, Potter and Black wouldn't constantly be on his case. At least I think so anyway. I wonder if he's angry at me for not being more sympathetic about the whole werewolf debacle. I'm not though. He shouldn't have gone snooping anyway! That was Remus' business and even if Sirius had urged him, he shouldn't have taken the bait.

It's strange to see Black in a relationship. He seems to really like Emmeline and even though Marlene is upset, we're all happy for the Ravenclaw. She's really great and deserves some happiness, even if I don't understand how Black does that for her. It's rather cute actually. I don't think I've seen Black in the library for the last five years but now he's in there all the time with Emmeline. It's obvious that he's not studying and really just distracting her, but it's cute all the same. It's really strange seeing him being so gentle and nice to someone especially when you think he's the kind of person who never has a care in the world for anyone but his friends and himself. I wonder about the Marauders…it looks like they're all helping each other get by with their studying but I barely see Black or Potter lift a book. I can't believe they do as well as they do…I suppose they must study when no one's watching or something. No one is that naturally intelligent! OWL preparation has been hard. I got pretty good marks on my mocks and all the teachers have told me I'll do fine. Even McGonagall says with a little more effort I might even manage an O at Transfiguration. I doubt it, but I'll be thrilled with an E.

After a particularly frustrating encounter with Sev and Mulciber using some dark magic in the hallway, I walked into the library, fuming. Marlene and Dorcas were taking a break in the common room but I wanted to look over some of my notes for Herbology tomorrow. There's under three weeks until our first OWL so I've really been hitting the books hard. Annoyingly, there was only one table free and it was the closest one to where Black and Emmeline were having a heated discussion. Not wanting to interrupt, I sat down quietly and began reviewing my essay. I worked diligently for about half an hour before my mind started to wander and I accidentally began eavesdropping on the conversation at the table next to me.

"You're always off with them…you never have time for me anymore," Emmeline was complaining softly.

"They're my best mates! I hang out with them to relax," Black whispered back urgently.

"Well, why don't you ever want to relax with me? The only time we ever spend time together is when you're distracting me in the library!"

"You said you didn't mind…I thought I was supposed to be a welcome distraction". Black's voice was lazy and sarcastic, as if he thought this conversation was completely unwarranted.

"Well, I'd like to spend some time with you when I'm not meant to be studying!"

"Why don't you hang out with me when I'm with the lads? They like you but they never have a chance to get to know you." His voice had turned serious, as if this was really important to him.

"They're too loud and irritating. You lot don't take a thing seriously!" she snapped.

"I like it that way, thank you very much," Black was saying coldly.

"It's always Prongs this and Prongs that….it's like you're in love with him!"

"My best mate Em! He's my best mate."

"Why aren't I your best mate?"

Oh wow…now Emmeline is wonderful, but I can't believe someone would want their boyfriend to forget about his friends just for her.

"Because you're not, Em. You're my girlfriend," Black said wearily.

"I don't get it," she said tearfully.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered.

"Oh great!" she said before tears started rolling down her face. Taking a chance, I glanced up seeing Black look horrified. It was clear he could not deal with crying girls well.

"I don't think this is going to work," he said quietly.

"No! I don't want to lose you!" Emmeline replied, grabbing his arm.

This really was thoroughly entertaining. I couldn't believe Black was this nice. I thought for sure he couldn't care at all. From the look on his face, it was clear that he looked like he very much wanted to care, but this just wasn't right.

"Just because we break up doesn't mean you'll lose me," he said in a reasonable voice. Poor guy. He clearly has trouble understanding women.

"Let's be friends Em," he said with his nonchalant smile.

"Fine," she replied curtly.

I saw him discreetly roll his eyes. It was really very strange. It seemed like he could switch his caring on and off at will and it was definitely off now.

"See you later then," he said getting up as Emmeline said nothing. He saw me watching and smiled softly, but I busied myself with my work as he walked by. It really was strange seeing a Marauder other than Remus and even Peter display features other than arrogance. I went back to my work, tuning out Emmeline's sobs as she too left the library.

About twenty minutes later I noticed that someone was sitting with me.

"Hello Potter," I said dryly, looking at him.

"Hiya Evans," he said with a grin. "Seen Sirius?"

I suppose my defenses were down having witnessed a Marauder being kind, earlier, so I was polite in my answer. "Yeah he was here about half an hour ago with Emmeline."

Potter laughed. "Ah".

"Actually," I began sheepishly, "I happened to over hear their conversation…I, uh think they broke up".

He laughed. "Thought that would happen. She was nice but always complaining that he spent too much time with us. Marauder's first rule is any significant other must like all other Marauders. She didn't, so it was bound to end soon."

"That's nice that you lot have principles," I said, returning to my essay.

"You know what else is nice?' he asked as he stood up.

I looked up at him while he turned to leave. "What?"

"Your eyes," he replied with a smirk before walking away.

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_**A/N: Thanks for your reviews! Please do so again :)**_


	10. Before Snape's Worst Memory

_**A/N: Thanks for your reviews, sorry for the wait, i've been concentrating on winding down my other story :)**_

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Before Snape's Worst Memory

Charms OWL today. For once I'm not nervous. If there's one class I'm sure I'll get an O in, it's Charms. For one, I'm good at it. For another, Flitwick is much fairer than Slughorn so I know I'm actually earning my praise and not getting it because I'm a favourite.

There were a lot of nervous people as we filed into the Great Hall. It was only our Third Exam, so I could understand why. I knew we'd be having the Defense OWL directly after, so I suppose I was a bit nervous for that one. For now though, I'm just going to relax and get through Charms.

Of course the exam went very well, I didn't really have a problem with any of the questions. I may have messed up the spelling of one of the incantations but that won't lose me too many marks. I finished a fair bit before other people and looked around. Dorcas looked very focused but I knew she was probably doing fine. Marlene had also finished. Charms is her best class too. She's now watching Black. She's sat behind him in almost every exams and I always seem to catch her eyeing him. She was so excited when she heard he'd broken up with Emmeline. I really wish he'd notice her. They might make a cute pair. It's funny but ever since I overheard his breakup, I've actually warmed to Black. I may have even warmed to Potter! It really was refreshing seeing anything but an arrogant side of them. I saw that as usual Black was done and he was rocking back on the hind legs of his chair looking at Potter. They clearly knew how to communicate without words because Potter was now laughing silently and Black was smirking knowingly. Remus looked up from his work and shook his head amusedly at his friends but it seemed Peter hadn't even noticed. Poor boy, the only subject he gets by in is Transfiguration. He's rather good at that but with all the others, I've seen his friends have to help him a lot!

We had a short break before the Defense exam and we all went outside, gathering in the courtyard drinking water and chatting about the Charms exam. As Marlene, Dorcas and I sat against a wall, I found I wasn't disgusted when Potter and Black approached us. Remus and Peter hung behind as Remus clearly gave Peter last minute coaching on the next exam.

"How'd it go Evans?" Potter asked with a grin.

"Pretty well," I said, modestly. "You?"

"Brilliantly," he said and he and Sirius laughed. Ugh. There was their downfall. The arrogance.

"Great," I said boredly, turning away. I was just glad he hadn't asked me out in a while. Sure there were the odd compliments on my eyes or whatever but he hadn't been too bad.

"Merlin, I'm so bored!" Black said with a yawn looking at the clock.

"It's exams, you're meant to be bored," Marlene said with a smile. Dorcas and I exchanged looks. She's so cute around him.

"Suppose so. Can't wait to be done for the day," Black said, without her enthusiasm. "Can't we go run about for a bit?" he said more to Potter than anyone.

"I wish…but look, we're going back in," Potter said motioning to where Flitwick was calling for us to file back into the hall.

"Fantastic," Black said sarcastically, turning away from us without another word and sauntering to the line.

"See you after Evans?" Potter asked, ruffling his hair. I looked at it thinking how silly he was. Must he always look like he's just been on a broomstick?

"Doubt it," I replied and followed Marlene and Dorcas inside.

The Defense Exam went pretty well. I saw Sev look like he was having some trouble, but he always takes such painstaking care, it's unlikely he did bad at all. The exam passed relatively uneventfully other than some silent disturbance from the Marauders which no one but I caught. I was glad I was already done or I would've been severely annoyed. Marlene eyed Black hopefully as usual and as usual he didn't notice at all. He was far too preoccupied with making gestures toward Potter. The funniest part of the exam was the end when all our test papers went flying at Professor Flitwick knocking him over. He's so cute.

I went with Marlene and Dorcas to go sit by the lake, ignoring Potter's looks at me from over by the beech tree. I wanted to talk to Sev but he seemed to be annoyed, so I thought I'd do it later. I was laughing as Marlene told me Benjy had been checking me out at breakfast, but was pleased to hear it all the same. Dorcas thinks I ought to ask him out since he seems shy, but I'm not sure about that. It's good to know that it's not only Potter who likes me though. Even though I've managed to bear with him for a few weeks, there were still so many annoying things about him I don't think I could stand being around him for long.

Oh wait. Bloody perfect. Just when I was starting to think they were ok. Of course Black had to be bored or something, but Potter will find any excuse to show off. Oh how I wish Sev hadn't walked by them…oh they make me so furious! How could boys who seemed so fun be so cruel? When Sev was suddenly dangling in the air, the breath was knocked out of me.

"No…" I said out loud before running quickly toward the scene by the beech tree with Marlene and Dorcas close behind. I'd leave it to Dorcas but I'm so furious. No way are they going to get away with hurting my friend like that. What's he ever done to them? Bloody Remus. He's a prefect for goodness sake! How can he let this happen?

I know I won't. Prefect badge or not.

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_**A/N: Review please!**_


	11. Summer Treats

**A/N: I'm back with like a million added chapters!**

Summer Treats

The summer after fifth year was the worst one of my life. I wasn't friends with my best mate anymore and he only lived a few doors down from me. I spent a lot of time alone because Marlene was in France and Dorcas lives up in Edinburgh. It had been almost a month of falling into a serious pool of boredom when I got his first letter.

_Evans,_

_I'm sorry about the end of the year. What can I do to make you forgive me?_

_I miss your pretty face, so._

_James Potter_

I ignored it of course. It really just annoyed me more than ever. On one hand, he had apologized which was more than I could've ever expected from him. On the other hand, I hate the git. Sev hadn't tried to apologize yet so I suppose I could give Potter a chalk mark for that, but I just didn't care. I crumpled up his stupid letter and threw it away as soon as I read it. It was a few days before the second one came.

_Evans,_

_Didn't you get my last letter? Why aren't you acknowledging my apology? What are you wearing?_

_James Potter._

That one made me laugh. I didn't want to because it was so infuriating. He's such a conceited prat who thought I didn't warrant a sincere apology. So of course in the bin it went with its predecessor. It didn't take long for him to catch on, so of course the next day I got three letters saying the same thing.

_Evans,_

_Just forgive me already. I'm bored and I don't like it when people hate me. Come on, give us a chance to make it up to you. Diagon Alley this weekend?_

_James Potter_

Ha! As if I'd go out with him after all that?!

_My dearest Evans,_

_Why are you such a moody cow? Why won't you just give a lad a chance? I'm sure we'd have a blast and I'd pay for everything too. We could get butterbeer or icecream or anything that might cheer you up. I've sent Dorcas a letter and she says you've been in a bad mood all summer apparently. Why won't you let someone cheer you up? I can be that person. I can be your everything. Can I? Also, can I get in your pants at some point?_

_James Potter_

That one truly pissed me off. After sending Dorcas an irritated note about not telling Potter my feelings, I sent the following.

_Potter,_

_Why are you writing me? Don't you know I loathe you? I'm perfectly certain if I ever agreed to go out with you I would rip every limb from my body just so I'd have something to throw at you. Do not write my friends, Do not write me. Do not even dream about getting in my pants._

_You never will._

_Lily Evans._

_Evans!_

_You wrote back! I was beginning to think you'd crawled into a hole and died and that would've truly saddened me. Sirius and I are going to Diagon Alley tomorrow. Join us. And then maybe you and I could go find a deserted spot somewhere and ravish each other. What do you think?_

_James Potter_

_Potter,_

_Don't make me laugh._

_Lily Evans._

_To the most beautiful girl in the world with the most gorgeous bum I have ever been blessed to see,_

_I live to make you laugh. I live to make your world whole. All I want is for you to realize that snogging me would be the best moment of your life. I can assure you, I wouldn't disappoint._

_James_

_Potter,_

_I'd rather snog my sister._

_Lily Evans._

_Evans,_

_Is your sister as pretty as you? Can I watch?_

_James_

I stopped writing after that. The letters, including travel time had filled up almost two and a half weeks of my summer and as much as I loathed him, I will grudgingly admit that the letters did lighten my mood and I almost waited to get them. It felt good to channel some of my general anger at life at Potter and since he seemed pleased to receive the attention, I willingly went to town insulting him. Marlene and Dorcas came to visit me for a week and that took up a lot of my time, which made me forget Potter all together and almost forget Sev. Soon, the new school year was fast approaching, I had received my OWL scores which thrillingly were all O's except for E's in Transfiguration and Ancient Runes. I was also made a prefect this year which was odd, since Dorcas is still a prefect, I suppose they thought we needed more? Soon I had my book list and I was entering Diagon Alley to meet up with my friends to buy our new supplies. Of course I saw him though. How he seemed to be everywhere I wish he wasn't, I will never know.

"Let me buy that," a voice said from behind me as Fortescue handed me a giant cone with strawberry ice cream. I turned to see who was offering and groaned, slapping my head. Unfortunately, I completely forgot I had my cone in my hand and the cold ice cream splattered all over my forehead and the cone broke. Taking a moment to look at the wonderful light pink scoops lying in the mud, I growled at Potter.

"Must you constantly ruin my life Potter?" I muttered looking around for napkins as the ice cream dripped down my face. I glared at him and he had a strange smile on his face as if he either thought this was hilariously funny or incredibly cute. I watched him fight to straighten his face as he handed me some napkins. I snatched them from his hands and wiped my forehead angrily. I was sticky and angry, not a great combination.

"Thanks for making this fine day so much worse" I spat and dumped a galleon on the counter before rushing off to the Leaky Cauldron where I was meeting Dorcas and Marlene.

Considerably happier now that I was with my friends and had washed my face, I smiled up at the gorgeous day we were having and of course ran head first into a tall boy with long, rumpled black hair.

"Oh hi Evans," Sirius Black smirked down at me and I felt my mood returning to its previous state.

"You have five seconds to leave me alone or I will scream until an Auror comes over," I threatened glaring at his amused grey eyes.

"Oh come on now, if you do that then Prongs can't give you this…" he said in his lazy voice. He gestured to where Potter stood looking sheepish and holding a huge ice cream cone with strawberry scoops. It was a rather funny sight because much of it had dripped all over his hands. He stepped forward with a smile and offered it to me. I peeked at it suspiciously and noticed that the ice cream still looked pretty much intact.

"Barmy git forgot the freezing charm so it had melted half way down his robes before he found me," Black said with laughter in his voice.

I could practically hear Marlene squealing on the inside as Black flicked his hair off his eyes with a slight toss of his big head and could feel Dorcas beaming behind my back at Potter so I sniffed and took the ice cream.

"Thanks," I managed stiffly before nodding and trying to walk away. The girls followed me giggling, beginning their whispers when I heard Potter yell,

"Is that all I get?" suggestively.

Feeling generous and not really wanting to waste my ice cream by throwing at him, I just turned around took a giant lick and smirked.

"Yup".

I ignored the gigantic grin that spread across his awfully stupid but undeniably gorgeous face.


	12. Returning

Returning

Getting ready to go back to Hogwarts was the same as always. Of course I'd psyched myself out the night before, waking up twenty or so times to unpack and repack my trunk. When my father finally called for me at about seven in the morning, I was groggy and irritable. I also had a strange feeling in my stomach, which had nothing to do with starting NEWTs in Sixth Year or being a prefect for the first time or even the fact that my best friend from my childhood wasn't the person he used to be. It had to do with the letters I'd been receiving all summer and my last encounter with the bespectacled, messy haired boy. I hated to admit it but I'd very much expected a letter from him before we got to school, but nothing had come for me and I was irked.

"Breakfast?" I asked after hauling my trunk to the bottom of the stairs with no help from a watching Petunia. I ignored her scoff and looked at my father who had a frazzled look on his face.

"Well…you know your mum is still in London on business Lily and well…." He looked hopelessly at the kitchen where the ingredients for pancakes lay smeared around the counter. A plate of oddly shaped pancakes sat on a plate amongst the mess. I laughed, forgetting my worries and took a tentative bite. With an apologetic smile, I forced myself to swallow and then shrugged at my father.

"Getting better Dad," I said with a laugh and grabbed a bowl for cereal.

"Hey Mum! I missed you," I said hugging my mother when we arrived at Kings Cross. Petunia followed stiffly as my mother pinched our cheeks.

"Oh darling, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for your last week. We're really just trying to get this book tour off the ground."

"Hey, with a little hocus pocus, I can make that happen," I joked with her as Petunia stared in irritation.

"Thank you my little witch, but I'm sure we can manage the Mummle way!" Mum said with a laugh and a wink at my father.

"Muggle Mum, geez," I laughed and hugged them again.

Suddenly, I felt a tug on my sleeve. If there was one thing Petunia put aside her irritation with me for, it was when she saw a cute boy. She pointed discreetly through the crowd and whispered. "Oh my God, he's to die for!"

I followed her gaze and saw a tall, good looking boy with an irritated expression on his face. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he kept glancing at the large clock in the station in confusion. Sirius Black had, if possible gotten better looking and maybe haughtier since I last saw him. I burst in to loud laughter as Petunia looked at me in horror.

"Shhhhh!" she hissed as Sirius looked up with mild interest. He raised an eyebrow at me as I laughed and tried to choke out an explanation to Petunia.

"Too bad Tunie, he's a freak just like me!" I said.

"No!" she said in disgust.

"Hey Evans," Sirius said approaching me with slight caution.

Petunia went red and looked down. Apparently if you were a good looking freak, it was ok to Petunia.

"Hey Black, where's your other half?" I said with a genuine smile.

"Inside already, I'm waiting on someone."

"Oh are your parents here?" I said looking around nervously. I'd only seen Sirius' parents once and they had looked at me like I was dirt.

He scoffed but didn't answer. Instead he looked strangely at Petunia who was now hyper ventilating and then swayed to the side to look at my parents.

"Hey, you must be Mr and Mrs Evans, I'm Sirius, I go to school with Lily," he said in a very polite, formal voice I had never heard before as he extended his hand to shake theirs.

"Oh hello, it's nice to finally meet some more of Lily's friends. Are you the boy, Lily says won't leave her alone?" my mother said in a delighted sort of way.

"Mum!!" I said, my cheeks turning annoyingly pink.

"Oh, talk about him do you Evans?" he whispered to me before speaking up, "No, I'm afraid that's my best mate. It's too bad he didn't get to meet you, I'm sure he would've been delighted."

"Well Lily, you must invite these boys over one Christmas!" Mum said, happily taken in my Sirius' extraordinarily polite behavior. My father harrumphed but said nothing.

"Oh well, I'm afraid we get on Lily's nerves a little too much, but maybe we'll all get along this year," he said with a playful nudge at me.

"Well Lily, we're going to go get you a trolley," my father said, clearly not wanting to imagine me getting along with any good looking boys.

"Wonderful to meet you Sirius, I hope you and your friend…" my mum trailed off.

"James Potter," Sirius provided with a smile.

"Yes James, I hope you two can come visit soon."

"Thanks Ma'am that would be a pleasure," he said in this foreignly polite voice.

"Nice parents Evans," he commented when they'd walked away.

"Yeah," I said, hopelessly confused.

"And you must be the other Evans," he said with a smile at Petunia.

"I have a name thank you!" she said stiffly.

"Feisty, I like that," he teased, thoroughly enjoying her face turning bright red. "Too bad you're not Magic love, me and you could've had some fun at Hogwarts."

Petunia looked shocked, as if she didn't know whether to giggle or scream in outrage. She settled for whimpering as Sirius fought back laughter. I found that it was difficult for me not to laugh too.

Seeing our laughter, Petunia quickly got irritated and scathingly hissed "Freaks!" before running off to the car.

"You shouldn't be so mean to my sister!" I half-heartedly said to him.

"Well James always says you two don't get along, so I figured it might be fun to mess with her," he explained with a shrug.

"Where is he then? Don't you two get separation anxiety being away from each other for more than two minutes?" I said trying very hard not to sound like I cared.

"He is otherwise occupied Evans," Sirius said studying my expression very closely.

"What, being a prat?" I mumbled.

He stared at me for a few moments before a slow smile spread on to his face. "Oh this is going to get interesting…"

"What?!" I asked, annoyed at his cryptic comments.

Suddenly Sirius' eyes became focused on something behind me. "Well Evans, I'll see you on the train, my uncle is here to see me off."

"Oh, should I pretend not to know you?" I asked turning around.

"Nah, he's not like my idiotic parents. But I'll see ya, alright?" he said with a friendly pat on my shoulder. I watched as he walked swiftly to a charming looking man with the same dark hair but a rather round physique who patted him on the shoulder. It seemed like this was a huge display of affection because Sirius smiled and did the same. Meanwhile, my parents had returned with my trunk and trolley and I had to explain Petunia's absence and say my goodbyes.

I got to the Hogwarts Express with plenty of time, but wanting to find Dorcas so we could go to the Prefect's compartment together. As I tried to heave my trunk up, I felt it suddenly get light as someone else lifted it easily on to the train. I turned to thank them when I saw it was Potter. He had a genuine grin on his face and something about my earlier conversation with Black made me feel like I should be nice. So I smiled.

"Thanks Potter."

"Welcome Evans. Had a good last week?" he said leaning against the train.

"Yeah it was alright, you?" I said, feeling strangely happy.

He laughed and looked at the floor. "It was interesting for sure."

"What did you-" I began to ask but was interrupted by Black pushing his trunk on to the train.

"Alright mate?" James asked lightly, but the concern on his face showed.

"Yeah, just… you know," Sirius said irritably, shoving his hands in his pockets again. He looked at me and half nodded, before cocking his head towards to train at James.

Whatever that meant James seemed to understand and nodded. "Alright, see ya Evans," he said with another smile as Sirius nodded again.

"Bye," I said as they walked away. As I began to look for Dorcas and Marlene, I overheard part of their conversation.

"Alphard showed up to give me money and a message from the bloody idiots," Sirius was saying.

"That's good though right? Your Uncle is brilliant," James replied.

"Well yeah, but he basically told me that the next time I come home was to collect the rest of my shit and then get the hell out of there. Not that I care, but it's a bloody drag."

I could see the cover up, just as Potter seemed to, but he said nothing about it.

"It'll be great mate, we can get all your stuff next summer and move it to mine until you find a place. You basically live there now anyway!"

"Yeah, s'pose," Sirius said indifferently.

"Oh, hang on a bit," James said as he noticed someone coming over to him.

Sirius laughed. "Oh no mate, I don't want to see this. I'll catch up with you in the compartment." He then waved half heartedly at an approaching blonde girl and climbed on to the train. I then witnessed something I never thought I'd see, considering my interactions with Potter this summer. The petite, pretty blonde girl jumped up into Potter's arms, wrapping her legs around him and hugging him tightly. He was laughing as she kissed his cheeks happily and finally laid a huge snog right on his stupidly, lopsided smile.

I felt sick.


	13. About His Friend

**About his friend**

"I can't believe it. I just can't believe it," Marlene said for the billionth time as we sat at dinner a week into the term.

"You can't believe Potter is actually capable of getting a girlfriend, or you can't believe they've lasted this long already?" I said nonchalantly. I was over my temporary bout of insanity. I was no longer remotely interested in seeing if I might get along with the Marauders this year. I was back to my self completely.

"I can't believe James gave up on you! After Diagon Alley…I mean I thought things were actually going to take a turn for the better with you two."

I coughed. "Don't make me laugh Marlene. Potter is an insolent fool, I have no wish to change our current relationship, or shall I say, lack there of."

Dorcas chuckled, shaking her head. "Are you jealous Lily Evans?"

"Ugh, come on you two! How many times are you going to ask me? Just because you wish I felt a certain way, doesn't mean I actually will!" I flipped my hair and glanced over at Benjy Fenwick.

"Now Benjy on the other hand. It's his last year and my last chance. Maybe now that Potter is no longer warding all the eligible males away from me, I can actually make something happen."

Feeling eyes on him Benjy looked up and smiled at me. I waved back with my cutest expression and smiled to myself as he flushed pleasurably.

"Hey if you want Benjy, you can have him Lil. Now let's think of a plan to get Sirius to fall for me eh?" Marlene said with a laugh.

"Now that, I may actually give my blessing to. Black seems considerably less annoying as of late."

"Well I heard he got kicked out of his house, maybe he's just depressed?" Dorcas pondered.

"Maybe, but somehow that doesn't seem very…Sirius like," I said, looking over at him. He was eating his dinner lazily, chatting to Remus and Peter about something. He glanced to his right for a moment and I saw a flicker of irritation on his face as he saw that stupid Hufflepuff Hope Fisher eating Potter's face off.

"Well, at least he knows a disgusting sight when he sees one," I muttered.

* * *

This 6th year NEWT preparation was hard already. Carrying on with Transfiguration was a nightmare, but at least I had Dorcas for company. Marlene was doing Ancient Runes instead, but I was glad not to be her. Every night while we surrounded ourselves with our fat textbooks, she had two more, twice the thickness. Meanwhile of course, the Marauders seemed to slack and skate by as usual. Well…Peter was in a lot of different subjects from us and Remus worked pretty hard but those other two just seemed to get by joking and writing notes to each other all lesson. I tried not to be, but I was jealous of the ease that some of our Transfiguration assignments came to them. At least I didn't have to endure the disgusting combination of Fisher and Potter Snogfest during lessons.

"Sirius Black…is that you? In the library? Is there a new girlfriend you're distracting?" I teased as I was surprised to see him sitting alone at a table near the back, writing notes from a book from the Restricted Section.

He laughed.

"Good one, and you know, Emmeline is over there and I think she suspects I must have a new girlfriend as well – I'm not much of a library lad."

"I know that…so, why are you here? Did you finally think you had to study maybe?"

He scoffed. "Don't be absurd. I'm researching a little Marauder project."

"Of course, why do school work when you can get up to no good?" I said with a laugh. He smiled, his eyes flickering over momentarily before he wrote something down.

"But anyway, why you?…I never took you for the researching type."

He shrugged. "Normally I'm not. I'm more of the active type but Remus is sick."

Full Moon last night.

"Petey is in detention and James is off…Fishing."

"Gross Sirius," I said laughing.

He laughed too and abruptly stopped. "Careful Evans, I think Emmeline thinks you must be my secret girlfriend."

"Yuck," I said making a face.

He smiled again. "Evans, why don't you ever go out with anyone?"

"Because your stupid best mate always mucks it up for me!"

"Have you even kissed anyone before?" he asked playfully.

I blushed deeply and wondered why I answered. "Yes."

"So just the one then…who was it? Ugh, it wasn't that idiotic Snivelly was it?"

I chose to ignore his rudeness and shook my head. "No, Severus and I were just friends."

"But not any more," he commented without question. "So who was it? Fenwick? He's always giving you the eyes."

"No and Sirius, you know perfectly well who it was!" I snapped.

"Do I? Did I forget something I shouldn't have?" he asked in confusion.

"Oh what, Potter didn't gloat to you guys all night about how he stole my first kiss under the mistletoe last Christmas?"

Sirius looked genuinely shocked for a moment before his carefully controlled expressions slipped back and he smirked. "The sneaky little bugger."

Now I was shocked. "He…he didn't tell you?"

Sirius shook his head. "S'pose he didn't think it really counted or something."

Something about that upset me.

"Or maybe he thought it was special or something. He's not much of gloater."

"I don't believe that!" I said with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, surprises me too sometimes. But yeah. So James was your first…how perfect," Sirius said with mild sarcasm. We were quiet for a while as I sat with this information. Suddenly I was feeling very open to Sirius, I'd never thought him to be much of a talker, unless he was teasing someone or playing the fool in class. But it seemed like he wasn't that bad a guy to talk to, which had me wondering about everything, including my assumptions of Potter.

"Look Sirius…I'm not sure why, but I think I want to ask you something," I said hesitantly.

"Ah, Lily love, you are a gorgeous girl, but you know there's a code with best mates and stuff and as much as I'm positive we'd have wonderful chemistry, I think I'd feel a bit guilty."

I smacked his arm as he laughed at my expression but I couldn't help but laugh too. "Thanks for that you prat, you saved me from actually making a fool of myself and asking you a real question," I said.

"You're jealous of this thing with Fisher aren't you?" he asked simply.

I struggled to answer, because I wasn't sure.

"It's not that I'm jealous exactly. But confused…"

"Because James gave up out of no where?"

"Well..maybe," I hesitated.

"It just sort've happened you know. He'd never really met Hope before, 'cos you know she's a year younger?"

I bit my lip. I too hadn't even known who she was until I saw her with Potter. Sirius seemed to be losing interest in the conversation, so I prompted him. It seemed he needed a lot of this to get talking. Although, if this was a recent development, I wasn't sure. He was a mysterious lad.

"So what, Potter decided cradle snatching is the way to go?"

Sirius laughed. "You're a funny girl Evans."

"Hey, I just say what I think."

He rolled his eyes. "No, he found out she lived on his road when we were at the park one day and they just got to talking. She's alright, I s'pose, once you get to know her."

"Is that possible? I don't think I see her resurface from his mouth at all."

He laughed again. "Sure you're not jealous?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that!?" I snapped, smacking my head on the table.

"Well, why else would you have all these aggressive feelings towards Hope?"

"I'm not sure…" I said, biting my lip again.

"I'm not sure if this is really appropriate…but James says you're always thinking really hard when you bite your lip – so what's on your mind?" Sirius said, closing the book, magically shrinking it to pocket it.

"He said that?" I asked in shock. "Wait, you remembered him saying that?"

"I have an excellent memory and James kind of goes on and on sometimes. And yes, don't pretend to be surprised he notices things about you." Sirius was suddenly looking annoyed.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried our new-found friendship might be taking an odd turn.

"Just spit it out Evans. What is it that you want to ask about James? I'm slowly losing patience."

"Well you're still rude then I guess," I said huffily.

His mouth twitched. "Think about it this way Lily. I usually don't give people the time of day and I've just spent a good part of an hour listening to your issues."

"Well don't let me take up any more of your time!" I snapped, folding my arms and looking away. I heard him chuckle and then he tapped me. I inclined my head towards him slightly.

"That's a good thing mate. I'm still a prick when it comes down to it, but I like you. You're decent and I think if maybe you pulled your stubborn little redhead out of your bum for a second, you'd realize me and my friends are decent too."

I looked at him with a pout and said nothing for a while. "Well, Remus is at least," I joked with a little smile.

He laughed. "Alright, there she is. So… sweet, even-tempered Lily Evans, spit it out, 'cos I have places to be."

I took a deep breath. "Ok, I guess I'm wondering why it was so easy for him to let go and find someone…and me, I've never been interested in him, and yet I'm still alone."

Sirius smiled the smile I knew Marlene would've loved to see directed at her and then shut his mouth to hide it. "Well Evans, I think most of the lads here know you'd have no problem getting a boyfriend if you wanted to. So…what's stopping you?"

He left it at that and we sat silently for a few minutes. Finally he glanced at his wristwatch and shoved his parchment and quill into his pockets.

"Gotta go, but I guess I'll see you at dinner," he said getting up and looking over at Emmeline who was trying not to be obvious about watching.

"Alright Em? Don't worry, I'm not dating Lily or anyone else…just giving her advice on her love life."

"Sirius!" I hissed, scandalized. Emmeline blushed, glared at Sirius and hurriedly left the library. Her friends followed looking at Sirius in irritation. He shrugged his shoulders at winked at me.

"Well, I can clear a room at least. See ya Evans," he said with a little wave as he shoved his hands in his pockets and headed to the exit.

"Hey Sirius!" I called and he turned with slight impatience.

"What about Marlene? Dating her I mean?"

His eyes went kind of vague for a moment before he shrugged.

"Who's Marlene?" he said, leaving me with my mouth open before he left.

I suppose there was still a jerk exterior to the nice boy I'd just chatted to.


	14. Emotions Running Amuck

**_A/N: Thank you all so much for your kind reviews :) It's been a while since I posted regularly so it's great to see my inbox full of your kind words :) Also, one reviewer mentioned that the story got much better recently - and BELIEVE ME, Ive noticed too...sometimes I can't believe I wrote that way at the beginning. I'm all for improving the old chapters if people would like, although it seems pointless when there's so much more to be getting on with :) _**

**_Enjoy!_**

**

* * *

Emotions Running Amuck**

"Benjy Fenwick is what!?" I almost shrieked as Dorcas and I left the Transfiguration room.

"He's dating Mary MacDonald. You know the one who was like, attacked by that Mulciber guy?"

"Yeah, I know who she is. She's adorable. She's like the nicest person in the school. What the hell is wrong with me!?" I said covering my face a sinking to the floor in the corridor.

"Oh Lily!" Dorcas exclaimed joining me, putting a comforting arm around my shoulders.

"It's not even that I care so much about not getting Benjy. It's just, I invested time and effort in that boy…am I that repulsive?!"

"Tea Party girls? Bit of an odd place isn't it?" Potter said standing over us. Sirius was leaning against another wall, twirling his wand between his fingers and Remus and Peter hesitantly flanked James. It looked like Remus had been trying to stop him from interrupting.

"James, does this really look like a tea party?" Dorcas asked in a calm, reasonable voice. I moved my hands a little and I suppose streaked my face with mascara and so groaned and hid it again, only peering through my fingers.

Remus looked sympathetic and handed me a package of tissues. I hiccoughed and thanked him, trying to clean up the mess. Meanwhile, Peter had scurried over to Sirius who had stopped looking bored long enough to raise an eyebrow at me. James stood looking slightly shell shocked.

"We were just going, aren't we lads," Sirius spoke up, ushering everyone away as they awkwardly said goodbye. Potter hung back and although Sirius looked exasperated, he let it happen. I looked up and scowled at him.

"Look Potter, whatever teasing you had planned, can it just wait until I'm not a complete disaster?!" I said, my voice shaking slightly.

His mouth was open slightly and he shut it abruptly once I'd spoken, looking awkward. He started to walk away towards his friends, when he paused and said,

"Look Evans, I don't know what boy you were talking about…nor is it any of my business, but you're not repulsive. You're the exact opposite, and he's an idiot for not seeing it."

And with that, he walked over to an amused looking Sirius, who almost chuckled as he saw my expression before they all walked away to Charms.

"That was nice of him to say," Dorcas said carefully.

"Sure, but it doesn't change anything," I said, before taking a deep breath. "Is my face still a mess?"

Dorcas shook her head. "Eyes are a bit puffy but they'll be ok ten minutes in to Charms."

"Can't risk it," I said quickly throwing on an effective concealing charm to my face.

She laughed. "Why you need to go to Charms, I'll never know!"

* * *

_Hey Evans, Alright? James is worried about you._

_SB_

The note was on my desk when I walked into the room with Dorcas. We had a three person table with Marlene who was looking a little sourly at me.

"Sirius and I are just sort of friends Marlene. It's a good connection, don't you think?" I said to her and she immediately loosened up and smiled. While I read the note and started a reply, Dorcas filled her in on the news. Marlene was sympathetic but also interested in what Potter had said.

_Sirius,_

_I'm fine. I had a pathetic moment. Why is Potter worried? Besides he's not the one sending the notes!_

_Lily_

_Potter is worried because he doesn't like seeing you cry. And didn't you hear? It's like 3rd year, I'm just the mutual friend passing notes._

_-SB_

_Well I'm fine. If he must know. Shouldn't he be worrying about his girlfriend? And by the way, remember when you asked me what was stopping me from dating? Well I don't even know anymore because now no one wants me, at all. Destined to die alone._

_-LE_

I didn't get any more notes after that because I saw that James and Sirius seemed to be arguing. By the end of class, there hadn't been a noise from their desk and this was very, very unusual.

When the bell rang, I saw James say something to Sirius and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Grow up mate. Go find Fisher, your girlfriend, remember?" before he stalked away.

Feeling strange watching a fight between two people who never fought, I wanted to find out more.

"Hey, I'll catch up with you guys at Lunch," I said to my friends as I headed over to James who was shoving things into his bag slowly.

"Uh…Potter?"

"What, Evans?" he snapped.

"I was just wondering if you and Sirius were ok?" I asked, feeling weird for not snapping back.

"Oh, worried about your bestie Sirius are you? We'll be just fine, we've been friends a lot longer than you have," he said angrily before shutting his mouth and grinding his teeth.

"We're not besties. We're just friends, because apparently he's matured now, unlike some people! So, what about you Potter? The only one in your little group who doesn't act their age?"

"Oh shut up Lily," he said swinging his bag over his shoulder.

Suddenly all the frustration that had been building up since Sixth Year began was starting to come out and who better to take it out on?

"I suppose you have to act younger, so your little girlfriend can keep up?"

"You're being a real bitch right now you know?" he said, staring at me in the eyes, his jaw taut.

"You're calling me a bitch?" I asked, enraged, following him out of the classroom. "What the hell were you and Sirius fighting about anyway?!"

"You. And right now, I have no idea why," he said, stalking off.

I almost had to run to keep up but I managed.

"You know you haven't said a word to me since the train and you're mad because I became friends with your mate?" I challenged.

"Why do you even care if I haven't said a word to you? I'm an insolent, bullying, worthless toe rag remember?!"

"Well, we were sort of friends before! And now, there's just nothing!" I protested, amazed at his anger.

He stopped and I almost fell over stopping with him.

He laughed bitterly. "Friends? Since when?"

"It's not my fault you wanted to be more. I just thought it was like, a game we played," I explained, wondering where this was coming from. Was I lying? I always thought I'd hated him, but apparently my subconscious felt differently.

"A game?" he looked fairly amused now and laughed shortly once more. "Well, as far as I'm concerned, you can happily play games with Sirius now, but I suppose I should warn him you're just a huge tease."

"I am NOT a tease. If you thought I was flirting with you…."

"I'd be right? You have no idea what you do to guys like me!" James yelled in amusement.

"Well Sirius and I aren't like that. We are just friends."

James and I stared at each other for a long, long awkward moment.

"Tell me this," he said in a quiet voice as the sounds of the laughter from the Great Hall echoed through the entranceway. "What did he do that I didn't? Is he that much better than me?"

As I stood stunned, at the emotions I was feeling as we stood only inches apart, I opened my mouth to speak, but someone else got there first.

"Uh…James? What are you doing?"


	15. Explanations and Others

_**A/N: Thanks for your reviews :) Since I'm running 6 chapters in advance, I decided to post again quickly. Also, I usually don't get upset by review jabs, but since I realized all the jabs I've gotten for this story have been true (E.G:It sucking from Chapter 1 through 8 and me not updating forever), I'm going to try and wrap the story up by September or October. I make no promises though! Hope you enjoy! :)**_

_**Oh also, try not to get tired of Sirius...he happens to appear much more than I planned. I can't help it, he's my favourite!  
**_

* * *

**Explanations and Others**

The news of James and my explosive fight that week had been through the rumour mill in every way you can possible imagine. I'd heard that he and Hope had broke up. I'd heard I had been secretly dating Potter since third year. I'd even heard about some strange threesome story involving Potter, Sirius and I, but I didn't really know the truth. All I knew was, I felt bad that I may have gotten between a couple by mistake. I felt bad that I may have lost Sirius as a friend and I felt bad that all this had been generated just because of my bad temper. It was easy to take things out on Potter. He usually didn't fight back so hard. I wanted to separate myself from the Marauders completely. But somehow I'd fallen victim like most people at Hogwarts to the charm of their personalities. I didn't really want to not know them.

"Lily, if this is still bothering you, just talk to Sirius – you two are friends right?" Marlene asked.

"Sort of, maybe. Who even knows?" I said glumly.

"Lil, its really not even a big deal. You and James used to argue all the time. You don't like him, so just apologize…try to be friends."

"Apparently he didn't think we were friends in the first place," I said in monotone.

Dorcas and Marlene exchanged looks.

"Well, you weren't Lily. You just turned him down all the time," Dorcas said gently.

"Yeah…but-" I began.

"We know, you thought it was just a friendly game," Marlene finished with a smile.

Reluctantly, I smiled too.

"Well you guys should go to Quidditch try outs, it's getting late," I said looking at the clock.

"Think Sirius will be there? I heard he was quitting," Marlene said.

"Who cares!?" Dorcas exclaimed. "We're good chasers now and that's why we want to be on the team – not for boys!"

Marlene nodded. "I know, I know…"

"Go! Tell me all about it as soon as you get back and are part of the team!" I said, distractedly, seeing Remus enter the common room and pull out a book.

"Wishful thinking!" Marlene said, but she and Dorcas crossed their fingers anyway and left to head to the Quidditch pitch.

* * *

"Hey Remus," I said quietly, sitting with him a little while later.

He looked up and smiled knowingly. "Hey Lily. Shouldn't you be having a threesome or something?" he teased, his eyes twinkling.

"Oh stop!" I said with a laugh.

He waited, expectantly.

"Oh Remus, how much have I screwed up?"

He smiled patiently in the serene way, which was unique to him and put his book down. "You haven't Lily. Everyone's just a bit confused. None of us realized you thought you were friends with James! Maybe he wouldn't have been such a prat if he'd known you didn't despise him."

"I don't! Yeah he was annoying, but it was just a bit of a laugh. Oh I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy."

Remus shook his head but then paused, "You don't…well, like Sirius do you?"

"No! He was just a nicer person than I thought. He seems like a good friend."

Remus sighed with relief. "Well, yes he is. I suppose we all owe him an apology for not believing him when he explained you didn't like him."

I laughed. "No, not at all! I liked Benjy Fenwick until he started going out with Mary."

Remus nodded. "Well, don't worry. By Monday, this will be old news."

"Yeah but two of your friends hate me now!"

"Who hates who?" a lazy voice said from behind me before he collapsed into another seat.

"You and James hate Lily apparently," Remus said with a grin.

"Oh does he hate her too? Good, she is an awful girl isn't she?" Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"So you don't hate me?" I asked with a happy smile.

He gave me a look, rolled his eyes again and looked at Remus.

"So, I reckon Hope'll put him through another week of misery, but she's forgiven him for now. She's just left him at the Quidditch try outs."

"Wait, you and James are still friends?" I asked in surprise.

Sirius looked at me in disbelief. "Don't give yourself so much credit Evans, of course we're still friends! What do you think we are, 13 year old Hufflepuff girls?"

"Oh, well that's great!" I said, feeling a blush of embarrassment.

"It takes a lot for Sirius and James to actually fight. They snap at each other all the time though – they can be quite moody," Remus explained.

"We're moody? Blimey Moony, what about your time of the month?" Sirius said with a laugh.

I looked away awkwardly until Remus said, "Relax Lily, I know you know I'm a werewolf. It was going to be hard to keep it from you when this idiot tried to kill your friend!"

"Moony!" Sirius protested.

They shared a look and Sirius changed the subject.

"So Lil, heard it didn't work out with Fenwick. Who's next on the list?"

Remus laughed.

"There's no list Sirius and there are no lads. I'm just going to wait for things to happen."

"And what will you do while you're waiting to die alone?" he retorted.

"I'll fix you two up on dates!" I said with triumph.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other and laughed.

"What!?" I asked.

"My condition…makes it difficult to date. It's hard having a relationship when you're not completely honest," Remus explained.

"And even though that's dumb Moony, I know you won't be swayed... so don't bother Lily," Sirius said.

"And what about you Sirius? Can't I fix you up?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "With who mate? All the girls at Hogwarts are rubbish."

"What about Marlene!?" I said excitedly.

Remus smiled knowingly. Perceptive one, he is.

"Who the hell is Marlene?" Sirius said yawning and stretching out on the sofa.

"One of my best friends you git!"

"Sorry, you three sort've blend together. The only reason I reckon I know you is 'cos James is in love with you."

"Was…was in love with you," Remus corrected.

"No! He wasn't in love with me and he isn't either. He was infatuated because I was a challenge. Now anyway. Marlene is the one with the long brown hair, gorgeous big brown eyes?"

Sirius shrugged. "Don't you all have red hair?"

"Dorcas is blonde!" I said in exasperation.

Remus chuckled. "Padfoot, remember the girl who…" he paused and smiled at me apologetically before whispering something to Sirius who immediately gained a look of recognition.

And promptly burst into raucous laughter showing another side of him, a playful, childish but fun side to go along with his mystery and seeming indifference.

"GRANNY PANTS? You want to go out with Granny Pants? Evans, you must be out of your MIND!"

"SIRIUS! That was an unfortunate incident in second year. No one cares about what underwear they're wearing when they're twelve!! Especially if they expected no one to see it!" I protested thinking of Marlene's most embarrassing Hogwarts moment. "Remus, how could you remind him of that!?"

"Who could forget it!?" Sirius said, howling with laughter.

"I'm sorry Lily, he's a bit of an idiot, it's the only way he'll remember who she is," Remus said apologetically.

"Sorry Lily mate, you can forget about that little match!"

"Well Sirius, obviously she's grown up and she really is attractive now and I doubt after that day she ever wears those….um….undergarments anymore." Remus put in fairly.

"She doesn't!" I protested.

"Do you watch?" Sirius said. "That's interesting. I might be into that."

"You're disgusting!" I said, shoving him as he laughed.

"Lads!!" a familiar voice yelled as he stormed into the common room with Peter Pettigrew on his tail.

Remus and Sirius looked up and James stood there muddy but triumphant. I tried to make myself less noticeable as he excitedly talked about the new team.

"And we've got these new brilliant chasers. They can actually keep up with me!! Evans' friends, Marlene and Dorcas!" James was saying.

"They got it! That's wonderful!" I said, jumping up excitedly.

James and I looked at each other awkwardly for a moment but then Dorcas and Marlene, who was tracking an awful lot of mud behind her walked in. They both wore broad smiles. I squealed and ran to congratulate them but not before I heard Sirius ask Remus,

"Which one is Marlene?"

"On the right mate," Remus replied.

"Bloody hell, Lily wants me to go out with Swamp Monster Granny Pants?!"

* * *

_**A/N:Ok, sorry if there was like no Lily/James interaction, I didn't notice until the chapter ended! Review and I promise it won't happen again! :)**_


	16. Confrontations

_**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews! I was worried I was overkilling with Sirius, but it's been a while since I've written anything about him and I just re-read and wept during OOTP (for the 17th time!)... anyway, enjoy! I'm writing another chapter to stay ahead and will probably post again tomorrow. Much love!**_

* * *

Confrontations

"Watch it!" a high pitched voice said angrily when I accidentally knocked into her.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" my voice trailed off as I saw the blonde hair pulled into pigtails and the sharp blue eyes glare at me.

Hope looked me up and down and stared, "You better watch it Red."

What was this, some old American movie?

"I'll try to be more careful next time…" I said, raising my eyebrows.

"You better…around me, around my boyfriend…"

I sighed. "Look, James and I just fight like that…it was nothing," I tried to explain although I wasn't sure I was telling the truth.

"Well it will be nothing. You stay away from him, he's MINE" she said, getting closer to my face. A couple of her friends walked forward too. I lost my patience.

"Listen, LITTLE girl…" I began, when suddenly I felt someone grip my arm, and tow me aside.

"Heya Hopey, how's it going?" Sirius asked in a light tone.

"Fine, Sirius. I was just talking to this little boyfriend thief," she said in a syrupy voice before glaring again.

"Who's boyfriend did she steal?" Sirius asked, playing dumb.

Hope pouted. "Well…she tried with James…"

"Well, she was clearly unsuccessful because they haven't really said a word to each other since," Sirius said with charming nonchalance. Even if this girl was dating James, it was clear she was putty in Sirius' hands.

"Oh, well you know I asked him to. He'll do anything for me," Hope said, smiling at her friends who giggled in awe.

"Right you are love, now do you mind if I break this cat-fight up? Dumbledore is looking for Evans…you know for, Prefect stuff…" he gestured to my badge.

Hope got the picture and backed away quick. "Alright well, we were just chatting anyway. I don't think we'll be bumping into each other again any time soon…" she said, looking at me with forced civility. "Well see ya later Sirius," she said smiling sweetly.

"Sure Hopey, bye, bye," he replied, tugging me away.

"Why you don't use your prefect power, I don't know! It's like you don't even want to bend the rules a little in your favour."

"Well, that's not really the point is it Sirius? Besides, I thought you liked her!"

"I like her _for James_, it's a change from him moping about you. You're awful for him."

Trying not to flush, I ignored this and changed the subject.

"Will you let go, I'm capable of walking to Transfiguration without something to hold on to."

He grinned and let go. "Well, you're a bit of an idiot aren't you? Won't use your prefect power…picking girl-fights with the girl who's been bitching about you for a week. Forget using your wand of course – you can't have that! And no friends to help. No Dorky and Swamp Monster Granny Pants in sight!? Where are your back up dancers anyway?" He said with amused sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes. "Dorcas is NOT a dork and don't call Marlene that ridiculous name!"

"SMGP is just too fun not to call her that!" he said in wicked delight, ignoring my previous statement.

"You are just mean. She's my friend, please?!"

"I'm not being mean Lily, I'm just trying to remember her. It's hard for me you know," he said mockingly sticking out his lower lip.

"Oh Sirius, you have such a tough life…" I said patting him on the shoulder condescendingly.

"Where are they anyway?" he said.

"Dorcas is ill, so she went to the Hospital Wing to have a bit of a lie in before class and Marlene doesn't take Transfiguration."

He laughed. "SMGP doesn't take Transfiguration. Wow, Lily you really thought this set up through….I like smart girls, just so you know."

"She is smart you dummy, she takes Runes instead."

"Oh well, listen Evans, I'll give it a shot. Maybe you lot can sit with us at dinner or something?" Sirius said, leaning against the wall outside the classroom.

"That's great Sirius! She'll love that!" I squealed before hugging him. He patted my back and then cleared his throat.

"Alright Prongs? I've grown a Lily-limb."

I jumped back at the sound of Potter's nickname and turned bright red. He didn't seem to notice, but looked exhausted.

"Nice," he commented. "Did you do the essay Padfoot?"

"Shit, I forgot my conclusion!" Sirius said slapping his head. "It's up in the tower, I better go get it if I don't want Minnie to ban me from Hogsmeade for the rest of the term." He sighed heavily.

"S'alright mate. I finished it for you," Potter said holding up the scroll of parchment as Sirius' eyes glinted with glee.

"You are ace mate. Absolutely ace!" Sirius said clapping him on the back and heading inside.

That left Potter and I standing awkwardly looking at one another.

"Um, that was nice of you…" I said with a smile.

Potter nodded and shrugged but said nothing as he followed Sirius inside.

It was going to be harder work to become real friends with him than I thought.

* * *

My concern heightened when I was in the common room before dinner. Dorcas and Marlene were reading Witch Weekly as I stared at the fire only half listening. When had things gotten so complicated? Perhaps I was lying to everyone when I had said I thought James and I were friends. That wasn't true, was it? But I didn't really hate him either. I was starting to feel dizzy re-playing the same thoughts over and over again.

"You know James isn't allowed to talk to you?" a nonchalant voice said as they sat beside me on the sofa. I looked at Sirius with a raised eyebrow to which he nodded. When I turned around to see James staring into the other fireplace, I don't know why, but I flushed.

"Oh, I was wondering why I was so happy lately!" I said, even as I felt my stomach swoop at the glum expression on the messy haired boy's face.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I reckon he's breaking up with Hope over it."

I felt a strange current run through my body but rolled my eyes in return. "If he breaks up with her its because she's a heinous brat, not because of me!"

"Whatever you say Lily, but you know he might end up alone and miserable…just because of you."

"Oh don't be so dramatic!" I snapped, but looked over my shoulder once more. Our eyes met for a moment before he quickly turned away.

"Well, don't leave it too late to throw your two knuts in alright?" Sirius said waving a hand in front of my face and getting back up. He paused and smiled charmingly at my listening friends.

"Alright Dorcas?....Marlene?" he said looking carefully at them both.

Marlene flushed and Dorcas smiled before Sirius walked back to his friends, with what I was sure was a strategic glance back at Marlene. He looked pleasantly surprised by something.

"Looks like you've got a shot Marlene," Dorcas said with a grin and nudge at her ribs.

""You really think so? Oh Lily, what did you say about me? He's never noticed me before!"

I couldn't think. "Uh…hang on a sec," I said, getting up and spinning around quickly. I made a bee line for the Marauders.

The others saw me immediately but could see I was only there to talk to James. He realized what was happening a moment after I stopped and he gulped loudly.

"Look Potter, I hear you're thinking of breaking up with Fisher."

Sirius smacked his forehead and smiled guiltily at James who glanced over at him.

"I was thinking about it…" James answered, trailing off.

"Look, not that I care or anything, but I think it's a good idea. She's sort of awful isn't she? How can she tell you who you can or cannot talk to?"

James smiled genuinely and nodded. "Yeah Evans, I guess you're right."

I don't know what made me do it, especially when he looked so nice.

"Well I just hope it has nothing to do with me. Because even if you weren't dating her, I still wouldn't really like you that way and honestly I doubt we'd even talk much at all."

I saw his face fall as I heard Remus sigh and Sirius slap his forehead again. I stared at James, biting my lip and wishing I had a stop button on my mouth. Finally, after a few moments, he spoke.

"Well…thanks Evans, you've given me a lot to think about."

I nodded awkwardly. "Uh…well, glad I could help. Um…bye guys."

As I walked away, I felt like slapping my own head.


	17. Lots of Trouble

_**A/N: Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews :)**_

* * *

Lots of Trouble

"Lily, what is going on with you?" Dorcas whispered to me as we sat in the courtyard during our free period.

"Nothing," I said, my eyes not moving from the couple sitting nearby.

"I thought you didn't like James…" she said, raising an eyebrow. I snapped my attention to her and scoffed.

"I don't. I just thought he'd gotten smarter or something. Can you believe they're still together? I mean…it's almost the end of October…that's more than a month Dorcas!" I said, flipping my hair nonchalantly.

"Why is this bothering you again?"

"It's not ok!?" I said. But it was. Had my opinion gone completely unnoticed? Didn't my two knuts mean anything!? I scowled as discreetly as possible when I noticed Hope's hand slipping below James' waist as they kissed. I barely even noticed that he patiently moved her hand away, I was so disgusted.

"Disgusting isn't it?"

"Sirius must you always sneak up on me?" I said jumping a little.

He laughed. "Yes, but hey, this time I brought a party," he said gesturing to a smiling Remus and Peter.

"Don't worry Lily. We're just trying to help Pete with this Charms spell and well, he kept making half the common room burst into uncontrollable laughter," Remus explained.

"His aim's a bit off," Sirius said punching Peter's shoulder.

"It's only because you kept telling me the wrong flick! Now, I'm all confused," Peter complained.

"Ah, well it was funny while it lasted," Sirius whispered to Dorcas and I as Remus corrected the motion.

"So, how are you today Dorcas?" Sirius asked with a charming smile.

Dorcas looked confused but smiled back. "Oh, not too bad. Trying to enjoy the sunshine before we have to start pulling out our coats."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, it's the worst time of year. When I have to say goodbye to the wonderful bare legs and hello to the jumpers and stockings." He looked pointedly at Dorcas' legs which had maintained the tan from the summer and looked a little longer as she had hiked her skirt up to get more sun.

I saw her blush but she coughed and looked away as she adjusted her skirt.

"Fantastic Sirius, you couldn't save your hormones for when Marlene was around?" I said, trying to bring attention to our absent friend.

"Ah…about that Lils. SMGP is a nice girl and all…but I think I have my eye on someone else." Sirius looked at Dorcas for a moment but she was still looking away at the Quidditch Pitch.

"Uh…Sirius. Let's go. Hope just left and James is all alone," Remus said in a hurried tone, pulling Sirius up with him.

"Alright Moony. Well I'll see you later Lil. You know…James can't really fraternize with the enemy," Sirius joked.

"So I'm the enemy now?" I asked, fuming.

"Well…to Hope anyway," he said with a half smile. "Bye Dorcas."

"Oh…bye guys," she said finally looking up.

"Tell me…" I began as they walked away. "There's nothing going on with Sirius and you right?"

Dorcas bit her lip. "No Lily…I swear. But…did you…did you think he was flirting with me?"

I gulped loudly. "This could be really…really bad."

* * *

"Lily…what should I tell her?!" Dorcas whispered as we waited for Marlene after Charms two hours later. She was talking to Flitwick about something or the other and Dorcas was getting progressively more and more nervous.

"Look, its not like anything has happened…I mean maybe you don't have to tell her?" I said hopefully.

"I'm not so sure it works that way Lil…besides, read this," Dorcas said biting her lip harder and passing me a crumpled up note.

_Dear Dorcas,_

_You probably already know…but you look beautiful today._

_- Sirius_

"Oh no…" I said.

"What am I going to do?!" she asked in distress.

"Well do you like him?" I asked hurriedly looking at the giant clock in the hallway. I had a meeting with Professor McGonagall about my Transfiguration difficulties in about ten minutes.

"Well, I never really thought about it! But Lily…Oh, he's so charming and I know it would hurt her…but oh I don't know what to do!" Dorcas said in shame.

"Look its not your fault he likes you and not her….I just…I don't know. You should talk to her about it. Just see how she feels?" Even as I gave her my advice I knew it wouldn't help. Marlene felt she had claim on Sirius and since Dorcas had never expressed interest before – he was out of bounds.

"I'm really sorry, I've got to go. McGonagall said she was really busy!" I said apologetically and waved as I tore down the corridor. I got there with some time to spare but was unfortunately in line with the one boy I really didn't want to see.

"Hey Potter," I said stiffly.

He nodded and stared at his feet.

"What are you doing here?" I asked conversationally.

He paused for a second, looked over his shoulder and shrugged. "Uh, not sure. Just got a note to show up."

"And you actually did?" I said in surprise.

"Yeah Evans, sometimes I do do what people tell me," he said tiredly as he leaned against the wall.

"You're still with Fisher I see…" I said.

"Yup."

"But you're still talking to me…"

"Well, I shouldn't be, but I'm not rude and since you asked me a question…"

"Oh right, pity conversation. Fantastic. I've sunk to an all time low," I said hitting my head back against the wall.

"Look Evans, you said it yourself. Even if I had broken up with Hope, you wouldn't want to talk to me…so why break up with someone just because they didn't want me speaking to you?" Potter said pushing his hair off his eyes.

"Your hair's different," I commented, noting the shorter style.

"Yeah well Hope doesn't like it messy."

"Well, at least you look neater," I said, stifling a laugh.

"Whatever Evans, it shouldn't matter to you either way," he said sticking his hands roughly into his pockets.

"Oh, don't worry…it doesn't."

He didn't seem to want to speak after that, but for some reason I couldn't stand the silence.

"Does Sirius like Dorcas?" I blurted out.

His mouth twitched but he regained composure quickly. "Why don't you ask him? You're his friend."

"Yeah but she's my friend and you're his best friend…and I was trying to set him up with my other friend…." I stopped in confusion and Potter laughed.

"Wonderful. You two are getting along!" Professor McGonagall said as she opened the door.

"I wouldn't say that…" we said at the same time.

"Either way, come in. We only have a few minutes before dinner."

Potter and I looked at each other in confusion before following the teacher in to her office.

"Uh Miss, I thought we were supposed to um…discuss something?" I asked looking at Potter carefully.

"Yes Miss Evans. I believe I have found the solution to your Transfiguration difficulties!"

"What's that Miss?" I asked feeling mortified that Potter had heard.

"Potter here will tutor you."

"What!? No!" we exclaimed together.

"No, Professor…isn't there someone, anyone else!?" I asked in dismay. I could not stoop that low. I would not allow Potter to teach me anything!

"Well, you said your friend Miss Meadowes had already attempted to help you and your tutoring sessions seemed to go awry?"

"Well, yes…Dorcas can get frustrated when I don't get something…I mean she's normally so patient…but I don't know…it just didn't work."

"Right. And is the top of the year in my subject. He seems to be very patient when he's teaching. Yes, Potter I've seen you with Mr. Pettigrew."

"But Miss…we…we don't exactly get along," I finally explained, clutching at straws.

"Well life is hard Evans. Perhaps it would do you both some good to work past your differences. It would only be about three sessions anyway Evans. You were only stuck on just the one chapter.

"I know Professor, but can't you just help me?" I practically begged her.

"Oh of course. I forgot I have absolutely nothing else to do outside of my one class with you!" McGonagall said to me sarcastically.

"Oh alright…I suppose it makes the most sense," I conceded.

There was a few moments of silence before,

"What's in it for me? I mean, I've got enough to cope with at the moment," Potter asked, finally opening his big, fat mouth.

"Well ," McGonagall began, looking sternly over her spectacles. "If by "enough to cope with" you mean the fair few detentions you seem to have racked up since you returned this year…I would be willing to wipe the slate clean."

Potter raised an eyebrow and then scoffed. "Honestly Miss, thanks…but I'll take the detentions."

My mouth hung open, dangling like a fish.

They were practically having a staring match as I looked on, in shock.

"Well , if you are prepared to be this difficult, I could wipe the slate clean for Black too."

Potter looked thoughtful.

"Oh, alright."

"Splendid. I should tell your mother that you have quite a finesse for bargaining, Potter. Now leave my office, I would like to go to dinner and you two must be very hungry. Big news tonight!" McGonagall said smiling with some kind of sadistic pleasure.

We walked in silence for half a corridor before he spoke.

"Look, I know you don't like me and everything Evans…but I really am a pretty good teacher. Especially when it comes to Transfiguration."

I sighed. "Oh, I know…I've seen you help Peter too," I grumbled.

"Look, I could probably help you with the chapter in one meeting and we'd never have to speak again afterwards…if you'd like," he muttered.

"Alright Potter…deal," I said sticking out my hand.

He smiled. "And we can…you know keep this quiet?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh I forgot, The jailbait doesn't want me to talk to you. Sure, why not? It's embarrassing enough without having the whole school know anyway."

"Great!" he exclaimed, shaking my hand with gusto before allowing me to head into the Grand Hall first. Before I even got a chance to remember his lopsided grin, I noticed that Dorcas and Marlene were sitting on completely different ends of the table and both had smudged eye makeup.

Apparently there were far bigger problems than my pathetic knowledge of Transfiguration.


	18. Candlelit Learning

_**A/N: Thanks for the feedback :) Sorry for the wait - Enjoy!!**_

* * *

Candlelit Learning

"What happened?" I asked for the fifth time. Marlene was pouting and tight lipped and I was starting to get frustrated.

"Marlene, what happened? You haven't spoken since yesterday!? Dorcas won't even come near you!" I said, pleading with her.

"Well, I don't want her to. She's a boyfriend stealer."

I sighed. "Marlene….he isn't your boyfriend - one. And two, Dorcas didn't even do anything!"

"But she wants to. She likes him now too, didn't you hear?" Marlene said angrily.

"Well, she never got a chance to before…what with you obsessing over him and all."

"There's a code Lily! And Dorcas didn't follow that code."

"What are we twelve? Mar, she talked to you about it first. At least she didn't do anything behind your back!"

"And I suppose if I told you Potter liked me and I was thinking about going out with him…you'd be fine?" Marlene countered.

"Yes, I don't like Potter, remember?!" I said laughing, even though I felt my ears turn warm.

"Fine, Benjy then? Because you know, Benjy asked me out…but I knew you were interested so I didn't say yes!" Marlene told me.

Oh wow. This was a surprise, yes. But shouldn't I have felt upset or angry or something? I just didn't care.

"Sure Marlene! It's not like I had a shot with Benjy anyway. If you liked him too, you should've just told me and said yes!"

Marlene looked shocked. "You know it wouldn't have been like that!"

I sighed. "Well, when are you going to let her off the hook?"

"Once Sirius moves on!"

"So you'd be friends with her again if they dated and broke up?" I asked.

"No!" she exclaimed before getting up to go to the dormitory.

I sighed and put my head in my hands.

"Hey Lil!" Sirius said, taking his usual seat when he surprise greeted me. It was more surprising this time however because it was James with him, not Remus.

"You are a jerk you know?" I said tiredly.

"Why's that?" Sirius said in surprise.

"Marlene and Dorcas aren't speaking!" I snapped.

He chuckled. "Oh girls. Look, I can't help it."

"Yeah but did you have to like Dorcas when you knew Marlene was madly in love with you? You know Dorcas will probably never go out with you."

"Ah well, you never know," he said with nonchalance. "So when are you two study-buddies getting together? I still can't believe McGonagall cancelled our detentions just for helping you! You must really need help, eh Evans?"

I glared at him and then James.

"Potter! I thought we were keeping it low profile!"

He shrugged. "I didn't say it was a secret. As long as my girlfriend doesn't find out, it doesn't matter who you tell."

"Fine! But I don't want anyone to know! I'm not that pathetic at Transfiguration, I just can't wrap my head around some things."

"I know Evans. I've only told the lads and they won't tell anyone," James said looking at Sirius who was still snickering.

"Fine. Where are we meeting?" I said glancing around.

"Well…I know how to get into this one place no one can get into after dinner."

I raised an eyebrow in intrigue, but James was already pulling Sirius up and whispering hurriedly to him.

"After dinner, Evans. Wait for my instructions," James said, looking over his shoulder.

* * *

I was a bit jumpy as we ate dinner. Marlene and Dorcas would've noticed if they hadn't been staring determinedly off in different directions. The pudding came out and I could barely enjoy my treacle as I watched James carefully with Hope. She looked angry and James seemed to be pleading with her. I wondered if he'd told her or made up some other lie, which would get him in less trouble. Finally, she seemed to smile and they kissed. I crinkled my nose and stabbed my pudding as Marlene got up.

"I'm leaving," she announced looking at Dorcas and I angrily.

"Bye Mar, I'll see you later?" I said, trying to keep my voice normal.

"Fine. Bye Lily," she said pointedly as she left.

Dorcas sighed and watched.

"What am I going to do Lily?" she whispered, putting her head in her hands.

"Well are you going out with him?" I asked.

"No…I want to…I really do, but I couldn't do that to her. Besides, he hasn't even spoken to me today," she said with another huge sigh.

"Who hasn't spoken to you?" Sirius said, joining us.

I laughed. "Sirius! Must you sneak up on us at any possible moment?"

He smiled. "Nah Flower, I was headed over to talk to Dorcas and caught the end of the conversation."

Dorcas was red and looking at her plate.

"So…" he said in a quiet voice. "Can I talk to you?"

She looked up, through her hair. "Uh, sure."

He smiled again and nudged her elbow. "Wanna go for a walk?"

She looked at me with frightened eyes but nodded.

I smiled, despite the awkward situation and watched as they headed to the exit, with the last few stragglers at dinner.

"Oh Flower," Sirius said looking back at me. "Hide." He then gestured to a small space between the paneling and kept walking.

"Hide?" I said out loud.

"Evans! Here," a loud whisper said from the paneling. I looked at it curiously and back at the teachers who were shooing out the last diners.

I then felt myself being pulled through the panel as it flipped over and tumbled me into a small space, smaller than a broom cupboard.

"Shhh…we only have to wait a few minutes," Potter's voice said in the dim light from his wand.

"What the hell Potter? Do you really think this is enough space to practice Transfiguration? Couldn't we just use McGonagall's Office like she said?"

"Where's the fun in that?" he said with an impish smirk. He then looked out of a small crack in the wall, waiting. After a few minutes, he sighed.

"Bloody teachers, I didn't think Slughorn would be having a drink with Flitwick this late!" he said as he slid down to join me on the floor.

It was quiet for a few minutes before I asked,

"So how'd you explain this to Hope?"

"Told her I had a detention and left."

"But then, how'd you get back in?" I asked in confusion.

"I have one of these…" He explained, holding up a silvery cloak.

"You have an Invisibility Cloak?" I asked in wonder.

"Yeah…useful sometimes. Well, most times," he said with a small smile.

"Cool," I said softly. "How much longer?"

He got up and peeked through the hole. "Just a minute. Flitwick is at the door, locking it."

"Potter! Just how do you suggest we get out after all this?!" I asked in anger.

He grinned. "Well you're good at Charms right?"

"Potter!! I can't undo a Charm Flitwick put on the room!!" I protested.

"Relax Evans. Sirius is going to spring us in a couple of hours. It's just going to take some teamwork."

"I don't even want to ask! " I exclaimed and then muttered under my breath," especially since Charms was hardly Sirius' best subject.

"Well, come on, let's start," he said offering me a hand and pulling me up. He then pushed the paneling and we came tumbling out into the Great Hall. We landed, sprawled on the floor, our limbs twisted together, so I hurriedly pulled myself free and jumped up while he laughed.

"Not the most brilliant hiding place. But I haven't figured out all its secrets yet," he said, getting up with a smile.

He was radiant. I hadn't seen him happy in quite a while. His usual cocky, amused grin wasn't on his face quite as often. It made me uncomfortable to see its return, not when he was with Hope…but when he was with me. I cleared my throat.

"Well my real problem is the multiple transfigurations at once. I can turn one string into a lit candle, but more than that and I fall to pieces."

"Hmm…" James said patting his chin. "Ok, one sec. Did you bring any string with you?"

I pulled a giant clump of thread out of my pocket and held it up.

"Cool, help me cut this up into a hundred."

We sat for a few minutes, in the echoey, abandoned Hall and cut in silence. Then we floated all the strings to the hanging candleholders hanging mid-air around the Hall. The moon glinted tantalizingly in all its fullness and the stars twinkled cheekily as we worked.

"Ok, so its really simple. You know the incantation for one, so just add a "us" to the end," he said waving his wand and changing the strings into candles around the room. They lit up at once.

"Wow…" I said looking around. "It's beautiful with no one here…." I turned and smiled at him. "Creepy, but beautiful."

He laughed. "Now you see what I did with my motion?"

He was a really good teacher and patient even when I somehow made all the string disappear. He figured out the problem in minutes and was kind as he corrected my gesture and suggested different pronunciation when I spoke.

Finally, I had done it! Five times straight without a single mistake.

"Yes Lily!! I think you've got it!" he said clapping as I playfully curtsied.

"I really think I do! Thanks James…that was a brilliant lesson. I didn't even realize half the things I was doing wrong!" I said grinning.

He nodded. "Well, I'm happy to help. I really needed to get out of detention tonight. Sirius too…"

"Thanks again," I said, twirling my wand almost shyly.

He seemed to pause for a second before he shut his eyes tightly and sighed.

"Ok, well, Sirius will be along in a minute," he said brightly as he walked toward the entranceway. "Ah, here he is," he said listening carefully.

"Uh…James?"

He turned and I saw his face, expectant.

"Um, you're pretty good at Defense too aren't you?"

"Yeah, not as good as Moony though."

"Well, could you maybe help me with my Patronus?" I asked, biting my lip.

He looked stunned. "Oh…um, sure."

"Really?" I asked in excitement. "I can never think of a happy enough th-"

"Uh…Lily…not tonight though ok? I, I have things to do tonight."

"Oh..right, you probably need to see your girlfriend," I asked unable to stop my face from falling.

Suddenly Sirius' head popped in between the two huge doors.

"Five minutes. Filch is around the corner," he whispered hurriedly, before he stuck his head back out.

"No, no its not Hope," James explained apologetically. "It's Moony actually."

"Ohh…Full Moon. I forgot," I said with relief.

He smiled. "Yeah, we have to see him off at the Hospital Wing. Come on let's turn these candles out."

We took more time than necessary, walking around the room extinguishing only a few at a time.

"You know…it really was very pretty. Sure you didn't plan this as a way to impress me?" I teased, punching his arm playfully.

He smiled a little sadly as we head to the door where Sirius was motioning for us desperately.

"I'm always trying to impress you Lily. Even when I'm not supposed to," he said unsmiling.

I had nothing to say as Sirius, James and I slipped under the Invisibility cloak to go to Gryffindor Tower.


	19. Drama, drama

_**A/N: I'm back --- did you miss me? ;)**_

_**Thank you as always for your amazing input. **_

* * *

**Drama, drama**

Halloween had been uneventful. The feast had come and gone and the only thing that had changed was the fact that we were closer to the Christmas Holidays and I was dramatically better at Transfiguration and Defense. James and I had had three more tutoring sessions, secretively but none of them had been quite as meaningful. Every time we met, he looked tired but happy and every time he looked different from the times I saw him with Hope. I cannot say that I wasn't pleased by the exhausted expression he wore on his face as she yelled and bickered. I wasn't quite sure, but my feelings towards James Potter were much different than I'd thought possible.

Still feeling rather elated from the Patronus, James had just helped me conjure earlier, I skipped alone through the hallway that evening doing Prefect rounds. I passed through the courtyard, watching James determinedly look at Hope as I passed. She was complaining about something that had happened to her that day, and her high pitched voice was penetrating to my ear drums. I hid my smirk as Remus discreetly put a finger in his ear and nodded weakly at me. I even wanted to smile as I saw Sirius talking to Dorcas, though their pseudo-friendship had ruined her one with Marlene. I spent a lot of time jostling between the two girls and was actually on my way to the Tower to hang out with Marlene. I twirled my wand between my fingers, as I walked past the staircase beside the dungeon, when I heard a low voice jeer at me. I spun, seeing Mulciber standing there, with Avery close behind. A pang of fear went through me as I remembered the stories about Mary MacDonald from last year, but I spoke confidently.

"You have thirty minutes before curfew lads," before I tried to turn again.

"Oh, the Mudblood is telling us what to do Avery," Mulciber said with spite as Avery snickered.

"The Mudblood Prefect you mean," I said in irritation. Couldn't they even come up with a different insult?

"Gryffindor bravery. Admirable, but foolish, you know?" Avery hissed as he and Mulciber walked closer, backing me into a wall.

"What, tough guys are too afraid to use their wands?" I whispered.

They looked at each other and laughed. "We're smarter than that Evans. You've got a quick hand and it'd be so much more satisfying to wrestle that wand from you…" Mulciber said.

I tried to say a spell in defense, but Avery was quick too. He lurched forward and grabbed my arms, overpowering me before I could use magic. My wrist hurt painfully as Mulciber snatched my wand from me. I felt defenseless and was now terrified. I contemplated screaming, but knew it would be useless since both of them knew Silencing spells. Not to mention their hands were bigger than my face.

"Oh ho, boys, what are you doing roaming the hallways? It's almost curfew!" the booming, pompous voice I so often dreaded hearing said cheerfully. It was like a dream to hear now.

"Oh nothing, Professor Slughorn," Mulciber said through his teeth as he stepped back from me.

"Oh! Lily! My dear, what are you doing in this neck of the castle!" he said beaming. I glanced at the two boys who were looking quite unafraid and just whispered helplessly,

"Rounds Professor."

"Yeah and we found her wand Sir," Avery said politely.

"Oh how nice!" Slughorn said and watched with a grin as Avery handed me my wand. My hand shook as I took it.

"Now boys, I hope you aren't giving my Lily a hard time! She's one of my favourites you know," Slughorn said pointedly as if he sensed what had been happening but wouldn't do anything about it outright. I always knew under all the niceties, he was a bit of a coward. Shame.

"No Sir, we wouldn't have dreamed of it!" Mulicber said rather regretfully.

"Ok then, scurry off!" Slughorn replied, gesturing with his hands. I took off with my briskest walk and ran once I got to the corner, all the way back to the common room.

* * *

I was still shaking even after I'd told Marlene. Even after she'd hugged me and begged me to report them. I just closed my eyes and shook my head.

"What difference would it make?" I said bitterly.

She looked at me hopelessly, squeezing my shoulder as if it would help. I saw her noticeably stiffen as Dorcas and the boys joined us. It was a mark of her friendship that she put aside their squabble and stayed.

"Geez Prongs, that woman can talk. Honestly who wants to hear about how someone took her favorite quill?" Sirius said as they settled down with us.

"Shut up Padfoot, I have a headache.." James said rubbing his temples.

"It's no wonder…" Remus muttered making Sirius laugh.

"Not you too Moony. Merlin can we just stop this incessant argument about Hope alright? She's my girlfriend and I ask you day in and day out to bloody deal," James said irritably, leaning back in his chair.

"Lily…what's wrong?" Dorcas said, tapping me with concern.

"She had a run in with Mulciber and Avery," Marlene explained. No one commented on how this was the first time she'd spoken to Dorcas in weeks.

"Are you ok Lily?" Peter spoke up, looking worried. I wanted to smile at him. His concern was touching, considering we were hardly friends.

"What happened?" Dorcas asked Marlene, sensing I didn't want to explain. Marlene filled her in as I stared at the table.

"He did what!?" Sirius asked in outrage as Peter and Remus joined him with noises of fury.

"I want to hurt them, you know?" I spoke up. "Merlin, I can't believe I let them take my wand," I looked at their shocked expressions, noting that only James' bore no surprise, just plain blankness.

"You should report them Lily, Dumbledore will do something," Remus said earnestly.

"But Slughorn knew what happened," Marlene protested.

"That bloody idiot. How could he just let them skate by!?" Dorcas said angrily.

"He's a bloody git," Sirius swore angrily.

"You should tell someone Lily, really, it's better than trying to hurt them," Peter said, with common sense.

"I know Peter. You're right. But, I don't want to get Slughorn in trouble. He tried to help, in his own way," I said with a sigh.

"We'll hurt them! " Sirius said with a maddened expression and I saw James incline his head in agreement.

"No, I'm sorry I brought it up. It's fine. I don't think they would've hurt me. Probably just hung me upside down and embarrassed me," I said looking at them.

James reddened and stared at his shoes.

"Well you're not Snivellus…you weren't asking to be picked on!!" Sirius protested.

"Oh shut up Sirius, you know it's the same, bloody thing," I snapped getting up.

"They wouldn't have just messed with you, they could've really harmed you. They're bad news Evans," James finally said quietly.

"That's true James, but it doesn't mean you should go get yourself in trouble because of it. We should let the teachers deal with it," Remus said, fairly.

"It's bloody cowardly what they did. Like they could've taken her one on one!" James said in anger.

"Let's go do something about it!" Sirius said pounding his fist into his palm.

"No!" I exclaimed. "I appreciate the chivalry lads, but really I can take care of it. I won't let that happen to me twice," I said before bidding everyone goodnight. I felt almost uplifted at how much these people cared about me and when I saw Marlene and Dorcas hesitantly start to talk, I was glad I had somehow brought them together.

I lay in my bed for hours, trying to sleep. Would they have actually hurt me like James had said? I only hoped that none of the marauders would get in trouble because of me. And I hoped I would never again be in a position to defend myself against Mulciber and Avery alone.

* * *

"Morning girls," Remus said as he sat down with us. Marlene and Dorcas were speaking again and the boys were joining us for breakfast. It seemed that Marlene had finally come to her senses and thought that if Sirius liked Dorcas and she liked him, it was only fair to back off. I was glad that friendship was becoming more important to all of us: we needed it. I felt much better today and felt as though last night had barely happened. I saw that Severus was looking over at me, and wondered if he had heard…or cared.

"Hello, hello," Sirius said pushing his hair off his eyes and digging into breakfast. Peter smiled at me.

"How are you today Lily?"

"Much better, thanks Peter. I really appreciate all of you guys' support last night. I really needed it," I said with a big smile. Remus and Peter grinned back and Sirius ruffled my hair.

"Oh Lily, don't worry, I'll get them back somehow. If you won't let me kick the living daylights out of them, I'll at least turn their robes Scarlet and Gold today in Defense," he joked, making us all laugh.

"That sounds like a plan!" I said, beaming.

"Hey boys," the sugary sweet voice of Hope Fisher said a few minutes later.

The guys mumbled their hellos, unenthusiastically but she was undeterred as she glared venomously at me.

"Where's Jamesie?" she asked with a hint of a scowl.

"No idea. He was right behind us when we came down. I thought he was with you," Sirius said tiredly.

"Well he isn't! You aren't lying for him are you?" she asked suspiciously.

"What would we be lying for Hope?" Remus said glancing at me.

"Yeah Hopey, Lily is right here, so you don't have to worry that he's off cavorting with her," Sirius said with a sigh as I looked away.

She pouted and bit her lip when suddenly a giant crash filled the Great Hall from the Entranceway making us all jump.

"What was that?" Peter mumbled as the crashes increased and yelling followed. Glancing at each other, we all abandoned our breakfast to follow the others who had headed out to see what the commotion was about. I noticed the teachers hurrying over too.

Somehow Sirius had pushed to the front, the rest of us in tow and we were staring at the back of a rumpled looking head of hair, a boy with glasses askew, holding a bigger boy up against the wall with jets from his wand.

"So what are you going to do?" James was saying threateningly in Mulciber's face.

"Piss off Blood Traitor!" he spat back.

"I'm not afraid to hit you Mulciber," he whispered angrily. Suddenly, Avery's fist came crashing down and hit him square in the eye. James staggered but his face did not flinch as he turned to send a spell on Avery too.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius yelled from beside me and went to jump in. However, he was held back by another spell from behind us as the crowd cleared letting Slughorn, McGonagall and Dumbledore through.

"What is going on!?" Dumbledore yelled in a foreign, angry voice.

"They tried to attack Evans last night!" James yelled to an audible gasp from the audience.

"Says who!?" Mulciber countered.

"He attacked us Sir!" Avery added.

"Restrain your friend! Lupin, Pettigrew!" McGonagall said sternly before pushing forward as Remus and Peter held one of Sirius' struggling arms each.

Dumbledore had the three boys separated with a spell. James' eye was swollen and his lip was dripping with blood. Mulciber and Avery both had bruises on their cheeks and all three boys were struggling angrily against the spell.

"You will all stop right this instant, or face expulsion," The headmaster said in a calm voice, his stern blue eyes on them. They relaxed a little with a collective, beaten sigh.

"Minerva, Horace please take your students to your Offices, and I will be by shortly," Dumbledore said, finally releasing the spell and watching cautiously as Slughorn ushered Mulciber and Avery to the Dungeons staircase and McGonagall pushed James lightly toward the Transfiguration hallway. He turned his head to the side, meeting my eyes with angry ones. Seeing my shocked face, he grimaced and spat blood before his gaze noticeably shifted to Hope standing nearby. The whispers got louder as my heart beat loud and fast.

* * *

_**A/N: AHHHH!! Its good to be back. I hope you enjoyed. Now I have something to ask of you. You know I love reviews, but I would love it even more if you did me a HUGE favor. I am doing my Senior Thesis and have created a website all about writing a story with input from strangers just adding a few sentences to the ongoing story.. it's very new but I would really appreciate it if you checked it out - **longnamedesign (dot) com_

_**Ofcourse if you want to leave a review too, I won't say no to that either ;)**_


	20. Toerag

**Toerag**

"Look, two detentions and fifty points isn't too bad mate," Sirius was saying in a reasonable tone.

"I have to miss Hogsmeade though and maybe a full moon," James replied glumly. I approached with caution, trying to pretend like I hadn't heard anything. The four boys instantly hushed themselves as I stood in front of them.

"Did you talk to Dumbledore Lily?" Remus asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, Mulciber and Avery are on probation for the rest of the term," I answered, my eyes avoiding James'.

"That's it? What the hell is wrong with Dumbledore!?" Sirius said angrily.

"Well they have detentions until Christmas and got fifty points taken from Slytherin each," I added.

"I suppose that's better," Sirius said looking at James.

"Well, I'm glad its over in any case," Peter said.

"Me too, it's been a crazy week," I agreed, standing awkwardly.

"Do you want to sit Lily?" Remus said, moving over on the sofa.

I shook my head. "No, thanks. I have to meet the girls. I just wanted to say hi," I said as they smiled at me. Before I walked away, I looked directly into James' eyes.

"Thank you," I said softly.

When I walked away, I could feel his eyes burning holes through my light sweater. I felt suddenly hot and shrugged out of it as I climbed through the portrait hole.

* * *

More than a week past, without much happening. James had stopped giving me Transfiguration lessons and seemed to be spending more time with Hope. I was surprised at how much it hurt to see him with her now. Weren't they ever going to break up? She was more subdued as of late, not talking as much, or yelling at him. I was shocked to see how desperate she sometimes looked when he walked away, or talked to someone else. It seemed like a lot had changed, but none of it was as dramatic as it had been the last time James, Hope and I had been through the rumor mill.

The Hogsmeade trip before the Christmas holidays was approaching which only meant it was closer to the end of term. I didn't really want to go, not when I knew someone was missing it because of me. The only interesting thing about this Hogsmeade visit was the fact that Sirius finally seemed to have a chance at convincing Dorcas to go to with him.

It had happened the previous week. Dorcas was in the library when Sirius stopped for our usual chat in the common room. Marlene had stiffened but smiled blandly when he turned to speak to her.

"Hey Marlene, could I talk to you about something?" he said rather gently for Sirius.

Marlene looked at me nervously.

"I'll go shall I?" I said awkwardly, getting ready to head over to Remus and Peter.

"No, just pretend not to listen for a bit," Sirius said playfully.

I rolled my eyes and went over to the boys, who greeted me enthusiastically. I listened to their conversation half heartedly but watched Sirius and Marlene. He couldn't really be toying with her emotions too could he?

"So, I understand you had a bit of a thing for me," Sirius said straightforwardly.

Marlene reddened and murmured something incomprehensible.

"And, I'm well flattered, you should know. But the thing is, I seem to suddenly be rather interested in your friend Dorcas," he went on.

"I know that Sirius. Of course I know that," Marlene said in humiliation.

"I think you know, we can't really help who we like. I mean just look at our two best friends…" he said with a smirk.

I reddened and scoffed angrily. Remus and Peter laughed at me but didn't interrupt as they were now listening intently too.

"I know. It wasn't really anyone's fault. Just unfortunate, I suppose," she whispered, rubbing her temples.

"Look, I know I don't really have any right to ask. I mean we're hardly friends…but I'd like to be. But I also really like Dorcas. More than I thought," Sirius said, his usually proud face, turning sheepish.

"Well, that's good then. You deserve to be happy. So does she. And she likes you, you know," Marlene said with extraordinary fairness.

Sirius smiled. "Trouble is, she loves you and she's afraid of what you'll be like if we went out."

Marlene looked disgruntled. "And she asked you to ask me then?"

"Well no…I just thought I'd ask, so I don't know… we could get your blessing?" Sirius looked as though he might laugh at his own formality.

Marlene sighed. "Of course. I'll tell her its ok…"

"I realize this was probably more awkward than necessary. But you know, I had to…well thanks anyway Marlene," he smiled, his shockingly charming smile and Marlene seemed to melt.

"You know…Benjy Fenwick broke up with Mary MacDonald," he said conversationally.

She looked mildly interested.

Sirius shrugged. "I reckon, he couldn't much help who he liked either."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well he likes you, doesn't he?" Sirius said, his eyes gleaming mischievously.

"Good save Sirius," she laughed. "But he's off limits…Lily…well."

"She likes James, don't be ridiculous!" he said laughing.

I stood up then. "I DO NOT!" I yelled at him. " And Marlene, he's not off limits…except maybe to me," I continued with a genuine smile. I'd like to see her happy after all this and honestly Benjy had never been more than a cute boy to me. I'd barely even had a conversation with him. With that said, I left her to ponder and chat more with Sirius who had now invited her to sit with Remus and Peter and headed off into the castle.

Thinking vaguely about going to see what Dorcas was up to in the library, I walked along the corridor past the courtyard, where I stopped. The weather was nice. One of those fluke warm days in mid November, that only needed a light jacket, which I had on. I decided to take a walk to think my suddenly very muddled life through. It had been a while since I'd spent any time alone at all. Now that I was friends with Marauders, even without Marlene and Dorcas, I was surrounded by people who I was very close with. I'd found myself drifting from the less genuine friendships with other girls in my house. Friendships, which were just light and unserious. I thought about how my mother told me all about honing in on a group of core friends. It seemed like I was finally doing that, as the mid way mark of my Sixth Year approached. Without realizing where I was going, I walked on to the Quidditch Pitch's greens, looking at the one lone flier circling the pitch, throwing the Quaffle through the hoops with tremendous force. The last match had been very nearly a landslide for Gryffindor but ended up tipping in Hufflepuff's favor at the last moment. Potter had put together a near perfect team. He, Marlene and Dorcas scored so many points that it seemed like the other team would never get the Quaffle, especially since Frank Longbottom was a rock-solid Keeper. The only problem was that Gryffindor's Seeker had fallen ill at the last moment and James had to replace him quickly with an inexperienced Second Year. The Ravenclaw Seeker caught the Snitch when Gryffindor were just short of 150 points. It was a terrible blow, but we hadn't fallen back too far in the rankings and a win in the next match would redeem the minor setback.

As I slowly circled the field I saw the scarlet clad flyer touch down and collapse on to a seat in the first row of the stands. He put his head in his hands but the wind swept, ruffled hair gave him away. Potter was here…looking thoroughly upset. I knew I ought to turn around and give him a private moment, but I worried about him, so I quietly made my way over to him and sat down, uninvited. He sighed deeply and turned his head.

"Oh…hello Evans. I didn't see you there," he said in a glum voice.

"Alright Potter?" I asked, keeping my tone light.

"Yeah...sort of," he said, sighing again and looking up into the sky. The sun had just gone down and the blue was slowly becoming darker.

"Anything I can help you with?" I asked, still nonchalant.

He grunted and smiled weakly. "Well, Hope and I ended things."

"Oh…" I said, feeling my stomach jump to attention. "Well…"

"I mean, it's a good thing really. She's been getting on my nerves for ages. I just feel a bit…I don't know," he said running a hand through his hair, trying to make it lie flat, rather than ruffling it.

"Um…" I felt awkward, but intrigued. "What happened though?"

He shrugged. "It's simple really. I told her I couldn't go to Hogsmeade because I had a detention and she kind of lost it. She's had to put up with that a lot. Me being in detention, I mean."

"Yeah, but its sort of a package deal though isn't it? You and trouble," I said with a smile.

He laughed. "Yeah, well I reckon she wasn't totally thrilled the reason I had detention was for defending you."

"You didn't need to, you know?" I said gently, for once not reprimanding him for not leaving Mulciber and Avery to me.

"Well, I wanted to. It made me furious that anyone tried to hurt you. It made me furious that they even touched you."

I said nothing.

"I know you don't think much of me Lily and it's not my business who touches you, but it…it bothers me."

I gulped, my throat very dry.

"I appreciate it James. And that's not true…I, I think very highly of you."

He laughed a little hollowly. "Like an arrogant, imbecilic, very, very...clean toerag?" he said with fake hopefulness.

I laughed. "No, no, just like a…well, _my _arrogant toerag."

He raised an eyebrow.

I raised my hands defensively. "No, no Potter not like that. Just that…if I used a toerag at all, I suppose I'd like one like you."

He laughed genuinely this time. "You're too funny sometimes Evans."

"You're funny too, sometimes," I countered with a wink.

He laughed and ruffled my hair a bit to which I scowled only half seriously.

"Well, I'm going to take this mood of mine out on the goalposts. See you later," he said ruffling his own hair and waving as he hopped on to his broom and sped off to the other end of the pitch.

_**

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A/N: Review!!**_


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